》SYMBOLISM & SIGNIFICANCE《
That is what you pay for when you buy a diamond.
That is what you strive for in school, sports, and work.
That is what you behave for in religion and law.
Being labeled valuable, important, and unique is where we focus our attention and worth.
Or at least it was....
Today, I sold one of the last *things* that energetically ties me to my divorce.
My Miss Independent Pendant
Short story: about a week after my husband asked me for a divorce, I took my wedding ring in to the same place I had it sized, soldered, and cleaned to have it appraised.
"Oh, sure honey! For insurance? I'll get the paperwork..." Janet said from behind the counter as she jumped into action.
"No...to sell." I responded somberly.
"Oh honey." She sighed. "I'll go get the jeweler...."
I was numb.
I just stood there waiting, feeling pretty empty inside.
Deflated...if you will....
"Oh honey...." I didn't know it then that that would be the first of about one million "Oh honey"s in the following year.
In that moment, as I stood alone in Marry Me Jewelry I didn't know much.
Everything I thought I knew just went away.
Anyway, the jeweler came out to kindly walk me over to his work station and just gently walk me through the process of selling back my wedding band.
You know, that circular piece of metal that signifies infinity?
That band with the bond that doesn't break.
With the diamond that symbolizes one true love?
The jeweler began writing down the features of the ring and pricing them individually.
Stone by stone.
Ounce by ounce.
"You see Ms. Abigail (I was a Ms. Again), as jewelers, we only buy pieces at wholesale. You'll never get retail back. You can put it on consignment for more and wait for someone to buy it or....are you going to cry?"
He had picked his eyes up off the prize long enough to see my hands holding my jaw closed.
"So you're telling me this is the most I'll ever be able to get for this ring?" I asked in disbelief.
To spare you the wallet wrenching details, those gems and metals were worth a quarter of what we paid for them.
My heart was feeling squeezed as I told the jeweler I would accept his offer.
I explained to him that I didn't plan on ever having to sell that particular piece of jewelry and that I didn't come for the money. I came to give it away because I couldn't look at it for another minute.
It was everything I ever really wanted and it represented more than I want to write about.
"All my jewelry is from my husband..." I announced as if I had suddenly discovered that.
I sat up straight as I put my hand to the Tiffany's Key To My Heart necklace I'd had for 4 years.
I took off my earrings and rings and more.
"I don't want money. I want new jewelry. My own jewelry." I sat up even taller.
"In that case, we will trade." The jeweler said with his own since of relief.
He offered me even more store credit than cash and proceeded to walk me around to pick out some new jewelry.
This solitude diamond was the first item I picked...for the solitude....
My Miss Independent Pendant.
I have worn it with so much pride over the years. In fact, I hardly ever took it off. If ever.
Two months ago, I had the urge to stop wearing all jewelry.
I was feeling so good in my skin that I was feeling weighed down by my jewelry.
Two weeks ago, I tried it all back on.
It has lost it's energy.
It felt like someone else's.
I feel like someone else.
I am someone else.
I went to sell it two weeks ago and had a VERY similar 'wholesale' conversation that I had about my wedding band.
When they quoted me a tenth of the retail price, it triggered me and I left with my pendant. How could something so sentimental be so cheap?
Hint: Because allowing others decide your value will always dictate your worth.
Today, I sold My Miss Independent Pendant because I do not need a single thing outside of me to represent me.
I do not have to dress me up or show me off.
I am brilliant the way that I am.
I shine like a diamond.
I keep it together like a precious metal.
I have many facets and I am cut to reflect light.
And this value never depreciates.
And neither does yours.
If you expect anything to validate your worth, you'll be searching forever.
If you hope for that one day you finally feel good enough, it'll never come.
If you wait for anything to complete you, life will be dreadfully disappointed.
Give it up, babe.
Let go of the things.
Release the grip on control.
Quit counting on titles and achievements.
They signify what?
They prove what?
They solve what?
They do, fill, cause, create what!?!?
Be the you that you know you are.
The more you do, the more you can.
The more you can, the more you will.
The world is waiting.
It's your Time To Shine.
Thanks Ms Independent Pendant...
You served me very well,