I am currently pouring out everything I have ever learned into my upcoming book, Alchemizing Judgment: A Guide Back to Love.
It is written to teach anyone how to win the game of life by using their personal power and inner authority.
It is dedicated to anyone ready and willing to live an absolutely beautiful life.
It is being put together word by word, page by page, and breakthrough by breakthrough.
It is the longest book I have ever written.
It is hefty.
It is thorough.
It is textbook worthy.
I have gone through some specific shifts that have guided me to write this book next and I have surrendered to being a channel for it's manifestation.
As with all of my books, this is a birthing process.
I have been dedicating my entire being to alchemizing energy into word form as to deliver a book that will guide humans back to the core of everything: love.
My online presence has been quiet because I am in my ninth month of this pregnancy. This book is in the birth canal and I am pushing until August 5, until my midwife and editor
will take great care of her.
of Pina Publishing are preparing for her public arrival on Thanksgiving Day this year and have a lot of creativity to transmute between now and then.
For now, I want to share my overflowing joy and gratitude for this gift.
To be a writer.
To be so divinely led.
To be so held and supported.
To be in such allowance and flow as to receive so fully.
The blessings are raining down all over life and I couldn't be more grateful in these moments.
May these words fill you up with the breath of life, gratitude, and joy.
May they awaken your spirit and lift the corners of your lips.
May they touch your heart and inspire you to unleash it.
Live a life you absolutely love.
Originally written Jan 7, 2020:
This year's word TRANSCEND came to me and it made perfect sense.
It means to be or go beyond the range or limits of (something abstract, typically a conceptual field or division).
I can see how TRANSCENDING in 2020 is a natural evolution of both my material and spiritual journey.
Something that I am so excited about and committed to in 2020 is to TRANSCEND manipulations of the truth.
When I say truth, I am talking about what you know within you; your self, that soft voice you hear when it matters most, your authentic superpower, your intuition, your inner knowing, and your inner guidance.
Manipulations of the truth in our world look like controlling, governing, judging, scrutinizing, discriminating, shaming, blaming, possessing, and more.
It is the illusion of darkness due to an absence of light.
Manifestations of these manipulations look like gossip, numbing out, self-harming, withholding/hiding out, stressing, isolating, betrayal, scandal, lying, thieving, spending wildly and more.
Darkness looms at these low vibrational levels and you can exit them by no longer entertaining them in your energy field.
You honestly need nothing more than your inner guidance system to get anywhere you're going in life and the external factors in your world will convince you otherwise quickly and efficiently…
I intend to TRANSCEND darkness and manipulations of the truth by returning to love fast and frequently.
Pro Tip: Being able to do so will help you TRANSCEND any and all perceived ‘problems.’
Potentially unpopular opinion: the problems of the world are all perceived and relative.
I do not say this to sound insensitive and I understand that it may trigger someone wrapped up in their circumstances. However, transcending lower vibrational energies will have you transcending problems with ease, grace, and flow.
Even Einstein warned, “you cannot solve a problem from the same state in which it was created.”
You must transcend your state of being in order to transform anything about your life or this world.
Truly accepting that you are the creator of your reality, you can choose what you let in and out of your life.
This will give you your power back in such a way that the delusions of darkness, opinions, actions, and reactions will not affect you the way they had in the past.
They will no longer stop you in your passions and visions of your best life.
You will be able to sense yourself becoming unphased, unapologetic, and unabashed in your nature.
This grants you the freedom to create from an organic place.
As naturally as the tree grows from within, so will you.
You will grow to fill the space you occupy.
I have known it for so many years and finally feel certain that love conquers all.
I have never been more faithful in my own belief systems than now.
I have never been so passionate about hearts being unleashed.
I have never felt so connected to a God-consciousness and without my need to justify or explain it.
I understand that I am not to do anything.
I am to simply be it.
To be still and know that I am God…
And you are God…
And nature is God…
And God is God…
And do not fear chasing people away with that 3 letter word because to me, God is love…
And I am love…
And so are you…
Working together harmoniously as part of the entire scope and sequence of humanity.
The moment we tell people “how to God” we lose the concept all together.
When we tell people “how to love” we lose the concept all together.
Because God is not something you do.
It is something you be.
Because Love is not something you do.
It is something you be.
In alignment with my word, I intend to TRANSCEND old constructs, patterns, fears, and delusions of reality and the past.
I intend to TRANSCEND manipulations of the truth so that I may assist with the ushering in a future of love, light, joy, bliss, innocence, connectedness, abundance, and prosperity.
I intend to have a lot of fun doing it too.
When you consider your intention word of 2020, I invite you to consider what future you're ushering in as opposed to what past you are resolving.
I will always invite you to live a life you love.
JULY UPDATE: WHAT WAS YOUR 2020 WORD and how's it working out for you!?!
Read the whole blog including my spiritual journey that has unfolded at http://www.abigailgazda.com/blog/transcending-in-2020
I have been getting a lot of guidance lately that has been asking me to shed.
"No more sex"
"No more alcohol"
"No more marijuana"
"No more coffee"
"No more masturbation"
When I say guidance, I am talking inner guidance.
When I hear something, it is with my inner ear.
When I sense direction, it's as if there is a magnetic pull on my heart or mind.
Sometimes when I receive this guidance, my ego....this Abigail personality...complains back like a toddler to a parent who's been denied a candy bar in the checkout aisle.
I admitted to my coach, Tim Demme, that I am afraid my inner being and God are directing me straight to the nunnery!
This Abigail personality has the gripe 'ugh!
No fun! No play! No pleasure! What is this?!'
Sometimes this inner guidance doesn't make sense to me.
What's different than ever before is that I am actually following the guidance eeeeeven if I have some initial resistance.
Before, I ignored my intuition and it had cost me in ways I had never realized.
In my teens and early twenties, I don't even think I understood the true sense intuition.
I used to ignore the tugs and urges and I found myself out of whack, frustrated, disappointed, and confused.
I wouldn't follow 'weird' guidance that didn't make sense cause I thought my idea of fun and fulfillment were the best I could create. I never considered reaching dreams that I never imagined...cause well, I couldn't imagine it.
Not trusting kept me capped in so many areas of life and only upon honoring what I am hearing am I reaping the rewards.
When I hear a new directive that I am initially resistant to, I recall challenging times in my life that didn't make sense (at the time).
I recall times of deep heartache when I would lament on my knees in pain.
I remember months and years of financial hardship when I stopped even looking up to a Higher Power and only looked to myself.
I remember bouts of loneliness that I cried and begged God to make sense of this life.
So when I now hear 'no more sugar' and look up at the sky shaking my fists, I recall much tougher challenges that have led me to the most abundant life that I never planned for.
In retrospect...always in retrospect...things make much more sense as to how they are a milestone, a puzzle piece, in the whole scope and sequence of life.
Following my guidance has opened doors that I could have never opened alone.
It has led me to people that act as Earth Angels easing my fear along the path.
Listening and honoring what I hear has made this life laughably wonderful and promising.
So now, when I hear guidance these days and wonder about it, I actually check into the reality that following my intuition and guidance have created:
I live in SoCal surfing, writing, coaching, touring, living, and loving.
I am the highest paid, healthiest, and happiest I have ever been.
I am the most in my purpose and don't have to pretend anything anymore.
I don't force things and stay in flow.
I don't lie, cheat, or steal to get what I want.
I wake up excited about what each day brings and I have a lot of faith in what's on it's way.
I have great relationships and the people in my life are thriving as well.
I consistently have true, authentic conversations and give and receive love.
I share, care, give, and receive in ways that feel genuine and fulfilling.
I walk with people in the same journey of transformation and witness them come to life.
So when God whispers the next step into my heart, I listen in.
I never really understood the concept of God's Will, but i think it is starting to make some sense to me.
What I have come to understand is that we must die a thousand deaths to shine as our most divine being.
I understand that we get the gift of delivering love to this planet.
I get that we cannot be our fullest expression of love when the pride, concern, or insecurity of our personality/identity gets in the way.
To me, what's beautiful about this is that we don't have to disappear completely and become no one's.
We get to unbecome anything we are not in order to become OUR fullest expression of love.
I get to package love in my Abigail form of enthusiasm, play, joy, warmth, sweetness, and a genuine sense of innocence and compassion.
I am giggling now just thinking about it.
You are your own unique expression of love and you have a brilliant unique skill set to manifest love in this world.
It is absolutely essential that you allow yourself to shine.
I recorded you a HUP episode to convince you even more:
I love you so so much.
It's your turn to live Unleashed.
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Y'all, for those of you curious, I STILL have an inner critic that tells me to get back to work.
She criticizes me for taking time away from calls, meetings, sessions, and social media.
When I take vacation, I can hear a running list of things I am falling behind on.
I have had this voice berating me for as long as I can remember.
As a youngster, is was about school and sports.
In college, on top of school and sports, it was about preparing to be a teacher.
As a teacher, it was endless berating about the endless to do lists.
As a consultant, it was about clients, orders, deliveries, and more.
As a manager, it was about a wedding, corporate career, and finances.
As a budding entrepreneur, it was about making sure I was building and not having to go back to 'work' for money.
As an author and podcaster, it was about not falling behind while also trying to build a biz AND make sales....
Are you catching onto the endlessness of it?
Ya feel me?
Have you got your own inner critic?
News flash: he/she's NOT going away!
That voice is simply ONE of the mechanisms of your brain that functions as automatically as the beating of your heart.
It is there and always will be.
The trick is, you don't have to engage with every thought, reaction, and judgement of your inner critic.
It's allowed to be there and it also doesn't have to run your life.
If you had a really negative or "worry-wart" kind of friend would you listen to their EVERY comment or concern? (I hope not)
This is ONE of the survival functions of the human condition and it is also the one that prevents you from touching fire and jumping off cliffs.
It's the survival functions of humanness that say we need money, food, safety, warmth, and shelter.
My inner critic wants me to work so we don't fall behind and end up broke, on the street, and begging for handouts.
The thing about that survival voice is she only knows the perspective of survival.
What she doesn't know well is how much the other parts of me know about adequate self care, rest, connection, restoration, and clarity.
Those are matters of the heart and I have to use my awareness to recognize and respect the difference between the head and the heart.
That inner critic? He/she's here for you.
When I am on vacation and my mind is telling me to work, I kindly let her know that we will when the time is right and it will be the right work.
I let her know that rest is right too and that enjoying life is as equally important as the work there is to be done.
The real work there is to do is be the captain of your ship,
the conductor of your orchestra, the author of your book.
You must transcend above the various parts of you that are in opposition of each other, take the lead, organize, and orchestrate their unified momentum.
You must recognize that there is a you who can identify the different parts of you.
Your soul gets to lead you through any and all challenges into triumph.
Trust that every part of you is for you and yet, they aren't meant to be the leader.
The soul of you is guiding you.
Live the life you love.
Repeat after me:
I am happy healthy, wealthy, and wise.
I am surrounded by people who love me.
I am blessed beyond measure.
I am focused and excited.
I am faithful, enthusiastic, and passionate!
My life is good.
My life is now.
My life is here and I am clear!
If you cringe at this or find them hard to announce with certainty, they are just too high a frequency.
There is nothing wrong with that!
It means you have identified a gap in where you are and where you want to be!
Close the gap with adapted affirmations that fit you and feel like a closer step than leaping across the Grand Canyon towards your happiness.
An example of a middle frequency adaptation:
I have my health and for that I am grateful.
I have my intelligence and that makes me happy.
I have people I love and who love me too.
I am blessed and grateful.
I know what I want and am ready to have it.
I believe good things can happen for me.
My life is here.
My life is now.
I am willing to empower myself and my life!
The full blown fire hose of abundance can be overwhelming if you aren't a frequency match for it.
You must become the YOU that is ready and willing to receive all the blessings that await your readiness.
Energy is everything.
Everything you are doing is a vehicle for energy to manifest into form.
You don't even realize how powerful your every action is because it is not a question of if you are a creator. It is a matter of how you are a creator.
When you become more serious about how and where you spend your energy, you will get to experience yourself as the creator of your life.
One fun example of how much of a creator you are:
Imagine your hands as garden hoses with no off valve.
Always on, pouring water everywhere.
If this were the case, sleeping in bed, being inside all the time, or in the car would be a mess!
You would want to stay outside at all times and while you are out there, you might as well water the plants and grass.
You can rinse the car and patio.
You can fill jugs and reservoirs.
Once you get over any frustration of garden hoses for hands, you will find ways to give them purpose.
You have energy pouring out of your hands at all times.
You could spill it all over the house, at the bar, at the movies, and at your friends house.
You could smear it on people, places, and things or you could pour it into your keyboard.
You could put it in pots and pans to make a delicious meal.
You could attach a pen to that hand and harness and direct the energy through the pen to write your business plan or floor plan.
Once you get over any frustration of what is manifesting in your life, you can find ways to use this ever-flowing energy on purpose and with purpose.
You are the creator of your experience.
You have been all along.
It's time you step fully into your role.
It's time to become a deliberate creator.
This life is a dream I wrote off as a pipedream back in 2009.
I remember on a trip to California with my Mom and Sister saying "I could never live out here. It feels too much like vacation I would never work!"
I remember assuming that if I lived in Cali for realz, I would end up a beach bum and never become anything cause I would never leave that beach....for realz.
And now, I am at the beach 2-3 times a day between calls with clients (that definitely don't feel like work).
I stare at palm trees.
I've been told I speak more Californian now.
I get paid my worth and do work that makes my heart explode.
I write books and speak on the podcast for the Hearts of others to be unleashed as well.
I live free, happy, and self expressed.
I am surrounded by incredible people in my personal and professional life.
Remember friends, this all came after a handful of heartache, so wherever you are in your journey, you can have it all.
If you are willing to believe in it.
Don't write off your pipe dreams.
Write out your plan to have them become your reality for realz.
Dear Addicted One,
I love you. I know you so well.
You are puffy with pain.
You are swollen with sorrow.
You are harboring hurt and I see you. I feel you. I am you. I love you.
Your eyes were always half closed in attempts to shut out pain and perceived threats.
Your eyes were always half open so you could attempt not to see life as your responsibility.
You got goofy enough to make life lighter when all it felt like was dark and heavy.
Your eyes were glazed over the same way you tried to glaze happiness over your open wounds.
Your words were slurred so you could smother what you really wanted to say:
I am hurt.
I am confused.
I feel so hopeless.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know how to make it stop.
I don't want to go on feeling this way.
I can't take this pain anymore.
My everything hurts."
Dear Addicted One, I love you.
Although packed with pain, I see you making every attempt to escape it.
From self medicating, to endangering choices, to careless actions, to numbing out, fighting, pouting, crying, pushing, and all.
I see you squirming in your own body wanting out of all the pain and doing any and everything you can think of not to feel it.
I see you. I feel you. I am you.
Your attempts may be destructive and they are still attempts to escape.
Babe, your intention is correct.
Your direction is wrong.
Just. Turn. Around.
Put down the pipe.
Put down the bottle.
Put down the phone.
Put down the food.
Leave the relationship.
Leave the job.
Let go of the past.
Keep showing up.
And keep on keeping on.....
Dear Addicted One, you would not have been walked through the valley of the shadow of death if it wasn't to come out radiating life.
You wouldn't have been taken to the depths of your soul if it wasn't to become as your highest and best.
I wouldn't have prepared you in such ways if it wasn't to serve, lead, and guide in such exact and unique ways.
You have been prepared, my child.
You have been chiseled, sanded, and polished to perfection to serve in such grace and light.
Now is the time to own your grace and light.
Addicted One, you are not addicted.
You are Anointed.
Lay it all down so that you may have a wide open heart to receive all the blessings that await you here in Heaven on Earth.
I love you.
I am proud of you.
Now is your time to shine.
Photo: Summer of 2016 a few months after divorce and the peak of my self medicating and after a car panic attack. I take these kinds of photos to remember the current experience. This one was one of compounded confusion, numbness, and hopelessness. I hang on to them to remember how I felt and to show myself my progress. I haven't been in that state of mind since then. Even tough times later weren't the same flavor of tough and I was always a new level of grown.
Keep. Freaking. Going. My Love.
You can heal.
You can move on.
Life does get better.
Take the lead.
Cause you just don't know.
Do you remember everything we had at our fingertips just a few months ago?
It feels like years ago. I could get in my car and drive somewhere--anywhere, travel, go visit friends or family, go out to dinner, go to a beach, a park, or a mall.
I could enjoy a concert, sporting event, or festival.
I could give someone a hug, shake someone's hand, or take a sample sip of my friends kombucha.
Anyone could do just about any one of those things, until suddenly we couldn't anymore.
That happens more than we think in life....
You just don't know.
Many employees don't always know it's their last day of work.
Mommas don't always know it's their last diaper change.
Students don't always know it's their last lunch of the year.
Some significant others don't always know it's the last day of their relationship.
Many people didn't know their last hug would be their last.
Many people didn't know their last kiss would be their last.
Many people didn't know their last call would be their last.
Many of them say that if they did know, they would do it differently.
Most of them say they would at least appreciate it more.
But instead, we zip through life, roll our eyes, or huff and puff about the monotonous motions of life.
We get annoyed and frustrated with the tedious day to day things.
We act too busy and distracted to even think it could be the last time.
Right now, there are millions of employees that would take on double the work to get back to work.
There are millions of Mommas who would gladly change another another diaper to have their baby back.
There are millions of students who would do all the homework in the world to hang with their friends, teachers, and coaches again.
There are millions of significant others who would love to have their love back.
You know that song 'Big Yellow Taxi', right?
Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got till it's gone??
Well, my friends, many things are gone.
A lot of things disappeared in the last few months and a lot of us weren't prepared for it.
Add to it that millions of us expect things to go back to 'normal' when this is 'over'.
But there is no real over.
There is no going back.
It's like taking a bite of an apple; you can spit it out and mush it back, but you'll never have that same whole apple again.
So while you hold your breath waiting for something that isn't coming, think about the examples of the momma's.
Think about the students and employees and significant others.
And while you try to zoom through these challenging times, roll your eyes, or huff and puff about the monotonous motions of this crisis; I invite you to slow down.
When you get annoyed and frustrated with the tedious things about being at home or going to your essential job; I invite you to breathe.
When you get uptight or offended about people protesting injustices; attempt to put yourself in their shoes.
When you act too busy and distracted, remember that it could be the last time.
It could be your last chance to slow down.
It could be your last time to breathe.
It could be your last smile, call, text, hug, kiss, hello, or goodbye.
So get your eyes up, ears on, and hearts open to the millions of blessings in your life at this exact moment, and live deliberately knowing that any of them can be gone in the next.
The good, the bad, and the indifferent all come and go, so appreciate what you've got while you got it.
Remember, you once prayed for the things you currently have, like wishing you could get out of that job, or wishing for more time with your babies, or more time to spend on your side gig.
Someone cries themselves to sleep wishing they had what you have.
Hug your babes.
Love your people.
Love your job.
Love your significant ones.
Live a life you love.