A loving friend once suggested when I was starting to date again "Don't bring Coach Abby on your date tonight." She meant it from love and I got what she was saying. However, at that point in my life I had already vowed to myself to never morph or dwarf any bit of myself to be in a relationship.
I had already chosen to be so unapologetically me that I would actually be happy when a first date didn't turn into a second. If Coach Abby was too much for a man, great! He's not my man!
I wasn't perfect at this approach at first but I let my internal compass guide me. I would check in with myself on dates constantly.
°Am I being myself?
°What am I resisting saying?
°What am I glossing over?
°That was a dating red flag, now what do I do?
°Am I meeting THIS man or am I looking through a filter of my past?
The more I dated and maintained my standards, the easier it got. The less attached I was to the man, the closer the men got to my conditions of satisfaction. The less I negotiated my desires and identity, the higher quality the connections.
And then I meet this man⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
"Babe, how may I support you?" Phelan asks just about every time we speak.
He speaks my language y'all! Aside from being totally sexy, he has as much brain as brawn. He's got heart and soul. He walks the walk and talks the talk. He's got as much hustle as he does vision.
....And, he loves Coach Abby. He's loves every Abby. And Abigail....maybe not Crabby Abby but that's just because she's usually throwing a temper tantrum....
Phelan and I met in LA and dated for about a month before choosing to make long distance work when I moved to AZ. As ANY relationship, it requires choosing each other over and over.
What an awesome experience this has been. Living a desert apart has caused us to exercise trust, new levels of love, and outstanding communication.
Whether it is 500 miles or 5 inches, the way we get to talk to each other makes my heart leap for ontological joy! I get to say when I am triggered, he feels safe to share his thoughts and feelings. We talk ourselves ALL THE WAY through anything and become closer because of it!
Beyond the 'working it out' stuff, our favorite convos are the 'working on it' stuff! We are both up to amazing things and creating REALLY big lives! This requires a growth mindset that can handle the ebbs and flows of a relationship while including the ebbs and flows of businesses!
I have fallen in love with myself and I can tell the work he has done to do the same. It's so attractive to watch him stand on his own and build his empire and I love how he adores watching me build my brand.
This is partnership like I've never known.
This is love like I've never known.
I love it when he talks coachy to me.
It's as sexy as it is challenging.
Bring it on, babay.
We're generating the life we love.
For daily gratitude, join us in the Growing Gratitude community on Facebook! Thank you for growing with me and as always, live the life you love