The "R" word.....
The one we all scratch our heads about.
The one we all have personalized perspectives about.
The one that is different according to the person speaking.
RELATIONSHIP....The juiciest R word out there.
Before you start sweating, crying, or preaching, let's pump the breaks.
I am not referring to game we play in one on one, intimate, committed, or dating relationships.
I want to talk about Relationship with a capital R.
The way we actually relate to things, people, concepts, and ourselves.
The Relationship we have to ideas, emotions, desires, and dreams.
The Relationship we have to wanting, success, failure, and commitment. The Relationship we have with "the way life goes."
This can be a pretty grand concept to get at first so I'll toss up a softball example for ya.
The way life goes:
"Life sucks, then you die"
"Life is great!"
"Life is tough!"
"Life is what you make of it"
"Life can be scary."
....and so on....and so forth. I am assuming you are catching on by now.
As we dive further in, it may become clear that Relationship with a capital R can cover an IMMEASURABLE amount of topics, perspectives, and realities. In order to not go all "inception" in this blog post, I simply want to ring your bell on how you are relating to your life: your job, people, environment, yourself, etc.
The way you are relating to everything in your life will allow you to draw a line in the sand about the role you are playing in life. Because I love me some sports analogies, let's use the Coach, Player, or Fan as some roles that can be played out in life.
Coach: Leads the team, schedules practices/games, does the organizing and executing of plans, makes plays for the game, teaches the players the game/rules, delegates responsibility, etc.
Player: Joins a sport for whatever reason, shows up when told, learns the rules of the game and team, abides by said rules, etc.
Fan: Attends games of a sport they enjoy or show up in support of family and friends playing a sport, watches the sporting event, commentates from the stands, gets riled up from the stands in which they have no effect on the game, etc.
As you read through the various roles, I imagine you were beginning to either wonder or decide where you land in all of this. If you get really real with yourself, you may even be able to scroll back up and distinguish where all those interpretations about "how life goes" come from and which one suits you best.
From this awareness, are you a Coach, Player, or Fan?
Are you a little of all three?
Do you relate to yourself differently in different areas of life?
There's good news in all of this folks, creating an understanding about ALL of your Relationships in your life will empower you to grab your coach's whistle and take the lead on your life. You can start calling shots and being the your own favorite player. You can be the one deciding when practice and games are and what level of competition you play in.
If it seems life a tough gig, it can be...at least that is my Relationship to it.
Taking the lead on your life will require you jump out of the stands and onto the court. On the hardwood, it can get scary and sweaty. You are likely to catch a bump or a bruise. You may face some strong competitors but hell, at least you'll be playing! You see, no matter how much longer I interpret how anyone's own game may go, you are the one who gets to decide. You are the one who calls the shot, all the time.
One thing I have decided, I don't write these posts for the fans wanting to stay fans. I write, coach, lead, and share for the fans wishing they were still in the game. I do this for the players looking to become coaches. I look for people working...and sweating...for their greatest life. Because no matter how many games we play, we only get one life to fit them all in.
If it's time to recreate your Relationships in your life, grab your sneakers.
If You are in search of a support structure to become your own coach, I know a badass coach to help you get started.
You are all Coaches. The sooner you grab your whistle, the sooner your team will form.
Live the life you love.