Last week, I shared that my word of 2019 was FLOW.
This word served me well as I shifted out of force and in to my divine femininity.
I have shared a lot of last year’s transformation on the Hearts Unleashed Podcast. Something that I shared during the Sex & Intimacy Series is that women are represented by the symbol of water. They fill the container in which they are placed and their creative flow naturally forces and outlet when rigidly constrained.
Practicing force my whole life rigidly constrained my creative and feminine flow. I have operated in my masculine energy for the majority of my life and this past year has me feeling softer and more delicate than ever.
I have literally and figuratively become more sensitive to things that no longer serve me. The impact of substances, sex, and society grew intolerable and I released many old ways of living.
If looking at the analogy of water in flow, it still stays inside of the boundaries of its container. For example, a river is directed by its winding bends and rocky beds. There are rapids, damns, drop off, and falls. The water will generally go as directed.
“Doing as directed” was a strong pattern of my past.
For all the years I used force, I tried to be a straight A student, the perfect daughter, and the star athlete. I fit into containers, boxes, titles, stereotypes, and more. For a lot of my life, I thought what it meant to be a good child, student, athlete was to believe what you're told and do as you're told. You know, “doing as directed” and because of it, I adopted habits, patterns, and belief systems that weren't actually mine.
The more that I got to know myself, those ways of living didn't feel right or seem to fit anymore.
Something I would like to teach you is that when this feeling of outgrowing your past occurs within you, a natural fear emerges right behind it; the fear of being disloyal to your past, family, and friends.
I was raised that with certain belief systems like:
-Winners never quit
-Hard work is right or essential
-You gotta be tough
-Struggle makes for a more noble victory
-If you wanting something done right you have to do it yourself
-That God has wrath and you should fear him
-Life is hard
-Bad things happen to good people
-Busy is a badge of honor
-Good guys finish last
-You must have a college education to get a real job
-You must have a secure job to make a real living
-And more and more for days
I'm giving you a few of my blue collar, Midwestern beliefs but I'm sure you have plenty of your own you could use as examples.
As I shifted from force to flow, my craving for fluidity and freedom grew immensely!
Last year I fell deeply in love with myself in a very nurturing way. As a result, I have vulnerably opened my heart to the world. It certainly hasn't been without fear of rejection or criticism, yet I have shared boldly none the less.
Every inch of self-acceptance has also expanded my experience of self-love, the love of humanity, nature, and God.
As I share a lot in my book Giving Up Giving Up: The Memoir of a Quitter, I had never really been super stoked about giving all the “glory to God as our lord and savior in Jesus name, amen.”
I have also definitely judged those who do... Whew. I have been wanting to admit that for years…
I used to judge people who had a relationship with God not because I doubted my friend’s faith and love. It was because I doubted there was really a God…or at least a good one.
In replacement of the three letter overlord, I have often used universe, source energy, consciousness, infinite intelligence, divinity, brilliance, and more. I have used blanket statements to avoid using the term God because I still very much related to him as the grey-haired man in the sky keeping a scroll of all my sins that I will answer for at his pearly gates upon my death.
The vision my elders painted of arriving at heaven became more like what I imagined hell to be like; a lifetime of judgment and guilt trips by your elders.
This was never an empowering image of the concept of God to me and so I thoroughly rejected it.
My real conundrum here was that I thoroughly believed in a higher power and a source much greater than us so I used more universal terms for both personal and professional use to seem less…denominational, if you will.
Because I had previously had my own judgements about those who openly praise this white-robed wonder, I assumed there would be people who will judge what I have to say about spirit too.
…And it was in the very moment I truly realized I didn’t care. I know that I have more people actively listening to learn than people actively judging what I am up to. I realized that I am speaking to ears ready to hear and eyes ready to read more of the truth that they know within.
This isn’t really about God, it’s about You.
A real shift occurred in me when I read a book that distinguished the difference between ‘knowing about God’ and ‘knowing God.’
It opened my eyes to the fact that all of my judgey attitude came from what I knew about him from others, not anything I had discovered on my own!
It was time to know him for myself, not based on what I had been taught or trained to think. I began actively pursuing a relationship with God in order to recreate it powerfully.
Since then, so much of my spiritual journey has not been ‘a learning’ of anything but much more a deconstruction and disruption of old constructs, rules, and belief systems.
I had to uproot and fully extract disbeliefs, delusions, false pretenses, and stories that did not align with the truth that I knew within.
I found such relief last year while reading A Course in Miracles (which I am still reading, studying, and working on understanding fully). I have been incredibly relieved to read this and many other books this past year expanding my spirituality beyond the constructs of religion, society, mainstream consciousness, and more.
I have found guide books that have made sense for me to practice following my own intuition and it has payed off in every single way. So much so that it has empowered my coaching, career, relationships, well-being, and finances.
Leaving old, disempowering beliefs behind made room for my power and prowess to roam free. I am operating with clarity and passion because of it. This level of flow gets euphoric at times.
After much resistance, I am finally sharing my 2020 inspiration to elevate above any 3D barriers on my way to my most realized dreams.
When my 2020 annual intention word first came to me, I loved it. I felt it deeply in my core and the very next moment, I resisted it.
I was afraid of people's opinion of it actually.
I was afraid it would seem pretentious, like a Queen crowning herself.
I was afraid people would see me as deeming myself enlighted and question every word I write from here on out.
My inner critic had a lot of “how do you think you are!?!” fun with me.
She screams stuff like “get over yourself, princess” and “Your ridiculous and everybody thinks it” and sometimes I catch myself listening and believing her.
I was afraid that it would send a ‘holier than thou” message that I am never interested in sending.
I was afraid it would seem too Pollyanna…too Buddha…too something to be realistic or accepted by others.
I had the fear that people would interpret that I encourage ignoring, avoiding, or turning a blind eye and deaf ear to the problems of life, circumstances, and that plague our population.
Knowing full well I don't need MY annual word to be accepted by others, I do have the insanely beautiful gift of guiding hundreds of thousands of people toward their inner truth and I take it to heart that you read my work.
I put care into everything I share and I respect the gift that I get to have a positive impact on your life; even if it is just by you reading these words.
So while others opinions about my silly little word of the year doesn't matter, I do like to be conscious of the impact I have with the use of my words.
No matter my resistance to this year's intention, it kept coming up even if I would propose other words that seemed less ostentatious.
After much meditation and deliberation, I accepted it.
This year's word TRANSCEND came to me and it made perfect sense.
It means to be or go beyond the range or limits of (something abstract, typically a conceptual field or division).
I can see how TRANSCENDING in 2020 is a natural evolution of both my material and spiritual journey.
Something that I am so excited about and committed to in 2020 is to TRANSCEND manipulations of the truth. And when I say truth, I am talking about what you know within you; your self, that soft voice you hear when it matters most, your authentic superpower, your intuition, your inner knowing, and your inner guidance.
Manipulations of the truth in our world look like controlling, governing, judging, scrutinizing, discriminating, shaming, blaming, possessing, and more.
It is the illusion of darkness due to an absence of light.
Manifestations of these manipulations look like gossip, numbing out, self-harming, withholding/hiding out, stressing, isolating, betrayal, scandal, lying, thieving, spending wildly and more.
Darkness looms at these low vibrational levels and you can exit them by no longer entertaining them in your energy field.
You honestly need nothing more than your inner guidance system to get anywhere you're going in life and the external factors in your world will convince you otherwise quickly and efficiently…
I intend to TRANSCEND darkness and manipulations of the truth by returning to love fast and frequently.
Pro Tip: Being able to do so will help you TRANSCEND any and all perceived ‘problems.’
Potentially unpopular opinion: the problems of the world are all perceived and relative.
I do not say this to sound insensitive and I understand that it may trigger someone wrapped up in their circumstances. However, transcending lower vibrational energies will have you transcending problems with ease, grace, and flow.
Even Einstein warned, “you cannot solve a problem from the same state in which it was created.”
You must transcend your state of being in order to transform anything about your life or this world.
Truly accepting that you are the creator of your reality, you can choose what you let in and out of your life.
This will give you your power back in such a way that the delusions of darkness, opinions, actions, and reactions will not affect you the way they had in the past.
They will no longer stop you in your passions and visions of your best life.
You will be able to sense yourself becoming unphased, unapologetic, and unabashed in your nature.
This grants you the freedom to create from an organic place.
As naturally as the tree grows from within, so will you.
You will grow to fill the space you occupy.
I have known it for so many years and finally feel certain that love conquers all.
I have never been more faithful in my own belief systems than now.
I have never been so passionate about hearts being unleashed.
I have never felt so connected to a God-consciousness and without my need to justify or explain it.
I understand that I am not to do anything.
I am to simply be it.
To be still and know that I am God…
And you are God…
And nature is God…
And God is God…
And not fear chasing people away with that 3 letter word because to me, God is love…
And I am love…
And so are you…
Working together harmoniously as part of the entire scope and sequence of humanity.
The moment we tell people “how to God” we lose the concept all together.
When we tell people “how to love” we lose the concept all together.
Because God is not something you do. It is something you be.
Because Love is not something you do. It is something you be.
In alignment with my word, I intend to TRANSCEND old constructs, patterns, fears, and delusions of reality and the past.
I intend to TRANSCEND manipulations of the truth so that I may assist with the ushering in a future of love, light, joy, bliss, innocence, connectedness, abundance, and prosperity.
I intend to have a lot of fun doing it too.
When you consider your intention word of 2020, I invite you to consider what future you're ushering in as opposed to what past you are resolving.
I will always invite you to live a life you love.