However, be warned: there is a difference between your awakening and choosing to live a conscious life.
People FINALLY choose to accept their invitation to transformation because it hurts more to stay the same than it does to risk change.
For those of you choosing to lean into your Awakening, welcome.
Many folks have to be beaten over the head to open their eyes AND accept that there is more to life and more to them than getting up, going through the motions, getting to work, going home, and binging on your vices until you fall asleep.
Or maybe you have been at the self development game for a while and are ready to transform in a lasting way. Maybe you have been attempting to meditate and journal, to no avail and have convinced yourself that living your dreams is for 'the fortunate ones.'
You been making half ass attempts at being 'more present' because it sound right but don't know the first thing about what it is like to practice presence as a lifestyle.
Being mindful sounds like it's for tree huggers and yet, deep down, you know they are doing something right if they are smiling the way they do all the time.
Welp, my dear Awakened one, you are in luck.
I have created a practical methodology that you can learn about and follow today to start solidifying your transformation.
My 8 Pillars of Empowerment are the 8 focal point that I know will lead to you living your life on purpose and at choice.
In this toolkit, you will find:
I packed this toolkit for those of you who are done screwing around living a disempowered, disenchanted, unfulfilled life.
Take a look and take advantage of the chance to study yourself from home.
If you are interested in actually leaning in and answering the call, feel free to use coupon code AWAKEN at check out for my UNLEASHED Digital Course to save $900 and get this 8 module, self-paced online course for just $97 today!
If you have further questions, email my team at email@example.com for support or to book a complimentary 30 min Discovery Call with Me.
My Grandpa still forwards me emails....
It's his way of keeping me in his loop. There are many I kind of scan and move on, but this one hit different today.
You may have heard/read my frustration for the way older generations judge and bash Millennials.
I dislike it so much because I don't feel like we are all entitled brats who are selfishly only thinking of themselves.
I believe we are a resourceful, innovative, and informed generation interested in re-calibrating outdated systems that no longer serve the collective.
I am a proud Millennial and nothing will change that.
In fact, I hope to change many people's view of us.
Anyway, Grandpa's email definitely spoke to me for every post I have read in the last week about people being BORED.
This hasn't been an ageism thing either.
I have seen folks complaining about their boredom between the ages of 10-60 at least.
It has frustrated me.
While at my 10 day silent Vipassana Retreat back in February, I watched mice play in a field on my break.
I realized that I had never seen a mouse that had not either sprinted or was scared away.
I watched this little cutie find some grass and even burrow in the snow.
It was adorable and entertaining...and peaceful, honestly.
During a meal at this retreat, I peeled an entire orange apart down to the single strands of pulp and tasted them one at a time. It was delicious.
When I would walk out of our 4 hour silent meditations, I would turn my face towards the sun and just fill up on its warm, loving energy.
Without an award ceremony, it felt like a pat on the back for my committed efforts to expanding my consciousness.
At night after our last meditation, I would walk all the way back to the residence hall with my eyes up just adoring the sky, stars, and galaxies. I would stand as still as I could, look straight up and notice the illusion of the stars 'falling' like rain drops. My very own private light show from the Universe.
Life in slow motion is absolutely fascinating.
Hearing people WITH other people in their home (I'm single af right now), with their devices, enough food and toilet paper for months, and endless forms of entertainment complain about their boredom makes me upset to say the least.
I have been talking about the pure miracle of life in this Growing Gratitude community for years.
You have seen my posts where I remind you to literally just think about the mind blowing beauty of your body. Thanking the different parts that have been with you your WHOLE life that work without your thought or effort.
I have talked about the complete blessing of your relationships with your loved ones and friends.
I have reminded you to think about the complexities of your brains and hearts and breathe in how simple it all is.
Life is simple.
It is not boring.
So as we proceed through this quarantine, I implore you to check yourself.
Check your 'boredom' as your refusal to count your blessings.
Check your privilege as your lack of gratitude for the fact that you are not being taken from your boring home to go fight something bigger than a virus.
With that, I will share my Grandpa's heart-opening email and invite you to flex your gratitude today and every. single. day. that you wake up with another beautiful chance to enjoy this planet.
I love you. Please stay home.
And MOST DEFINITELY, a big big thank you to the service men, women, and families then and now.
"I talked with a man today, an 80+-year-old man. I asked him if there was anything I can get him while this Coronavirus scare was gripping America.
He simply smiled, looked away and said:
"Let me tell you what I need! I need to believe, at some point, this country my generation fought for... I need to believe this nation we passed safely to our children and their children...
I need to know this generation will quit being a bunch of sissies...that they respect what they've been given...that they've earned what others sacrificed for."
I wasn't sure where the conversation was going or if it was going anywhere at all. So, I sat there, quietly observing.
"You know, I was a little boy during WWII. Those were scary days. We didn't know if we were going to be speaking English, German or Japanese at the end of the war. There was no certainty, no guarantees like Americans enjoy today.
And no home went without sacrifice or loss. Every house, up and down every street, had someone in harm's way. Maybe their Daddy was a soldier, maybe their son was a sailor, maybe it was an uncle. Sometimes it was the whole damn family...fathers, sons, uncles...
Having someone, you love, sent off to war...it wasn't less frightening than it is today. It was scary as Hell. If anything, it was more frightening. We didn't have battlefront news. We didn't have email or cellphones. You sent them away and you hoped...you prayed. You may not hear from them for months, if ever. Sometimes a mother was getting her son's letters the same day Dad was comforting her over their child's death.
And we sacrificed. You couldn't buy things. Everything was rationed. You were only allowed so much milk per month, only so much bread, toilet paper. EVERYTHING was restricted for the war effort. And what you weren't using, what you didn't need, things you threw away, they were saved and sorted for the war effort. My generation was the original recycling movement in America.
And we had viruses back then...serious viruses. Things like polio, measles, and such. It was nothing to walk to school and pass a house or two that was quarantined. We didn't shut down our schools. We didn't shut down our cities. We carried on, without masks, without hand sanitizer. And do you know what? We persevered. We overcame. We didn't attack our President, we came together. We rallied around the flag for the war. Thick or thin, we were in it to win. And we would lose more boys in an hour of combat than we lose in entire wars today."
He slowly looked away again. Maybe I saw a small tear in the corner of his eye. Then he continued:
"Today's kids don't know sacrifice. They think sacrifice is not having coverage on their phone while they freely drive across the country. Today's kids are selfish and spoiled. In my generation, we looked out for our elders. We helped out with single moms whose husbands were either at war or dead from war. Today's kids rush the store, buying everything they can...no concern for anyone but themselves. It's shameful the way Americans behave these days. None of them deserve the sacrifices their granddads made.
So, no I don't need anything. I appreciate your offer but, I know I've been through worse things than this virus. But maybe I should be asking you, what can I do to help you? Do you have enough pop to get through this, enough steak? Will you be able to survive with 113 channels on your tv?"
I smiled, fighting back a tear of my own...now humbled by a man in his 80's. All I could do was thank him for the history lesson, leave my number for emergency and leave with my ego firmly tucked in my rear.
I talked to a man today. A real man. An American man from an era long gone and forgotten. We will never understand the sacrifices. We will never fully earn their sacrifices. But we should work harder to learn about them, learn from them...to respect them."
It's not just during times of pandemic that people fear paying their bills, finding a mate, moving, leaving a job, starting a biz, chasing a dream, starting a family, setting boundaries, and more.
It is every single day that a majority of the population fear failure and settle for that little lie with big consequences; "I can't."
I can't stand up for myself.
I can't make that investment.
I can't connect.
I can't speak my truth.
I can't start over.
I can't walk away.
I can't risk it.
I can't take that chance.
I can't make the call.
I can't slow down.
I can't go on.
I COULD go on and on about all the lies we tell ourselves to justify playing small in life...and I won't.
Because the truth is, CAN'T MEANS WON'T.
I won't stand up for myself.
I won't make that investment.
I won't connect.
I won't speak my truth.
I won't start over.
I won't walk away.
I won't risk it.
I won't take that chance.
I won't make the call.
I won't slow down.
I won't go on.
In case you haven't heard yet, I am writing my next book, I Can't: The Greatest Lie In Human History.
In case it isn't clear, "I can't" IS the greatest lie in human history that has costs humanity gravely.
There are way too many brilliant, compassionate souls trapped inside the limitations the mind puts around them.
You are too gifted to live within the confines of your I can't stories and lies.
So I am here to tell you, You Can.
You can stand up for yourself.
You can make that investment.
You can connect.
You can speak your truth.
You can start over.
You can walk away.
You can risk it.
You can take that chance.
You can make the call.
You can slow down.
You can go on.
You can survive.
You can grow.
You can thrive.
You can live.
You can celebrate.
You can impact.
You can radiate.
You can contribute.
You can shine.
You can do anything you came here to do and it's time you allow for it.
Stop lying to yourself.
Stop limiting yourself.
Stop playing small games dictated by your fears.
Stop hanging out at the ego level and ascend into your greatness with some new 'lies'
As the great winner's creed reminds us:
"If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't;
If you'd like to win, but think you can't
It's almost certain, you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost;
Since out in our world we find
success begins with a person's will,
It's all in your state of mind.
Life's battles don't always go
to the stronger or faster hand;
But sooner or later
the person who wins
is the one who thinks....."I CAN".
You are the one who gets to choose and you can do anything you choose to.
“I have been in a toxic relationship with money.”
Now, normally I wouldn't speak that out loud as to not further speak it true into my life. However, I am doing so to take my power back from this deeply rooted personal truth.
I have been doing a lot of work on my money mindset this entire year…the last four years for that matter…and it is revealing so many fears and insecurities.
I have discovered SO MANY limiting beliefs, looping patterns, and self-sabotaging ways. They have been revealing themselves as I break up old conditioning around the way I give, receive, and view money.
This has been incredibly uncomfortable.
This work has left me so raw at times where all I could do next was take time off to relax and heal.
My relationship to money has definitely occurred to me as a toxic and tumultuous one and I had a major shift in how I relate to money after I heard myself say something that stopped me in my tracks.
I said it for the first time on a call in front of 39 women, “money took my mom away from me.”
God bless my mother. A single mom of 2 pulled herself up by her bootstraps and got to work to give her daughters the best life she ever possibly could!
It was not until I spoke that sentence out loud did I realize that I have been holding a lifelong grudge against money for ‘taking my mom away from my childhood.’
I was explaining to these women how I have positioned many of the things I want in life in opposition of each other.
In my head, it was money OR love. Quality time OR money, but not both. I couldn't get both. I couldn’t have all of it at once.
I certainly didn't feel like I had both in my childhood.
I missed my mom. I wanted her with me. I wanted her all of her attention and I am just now seeing as a 30 year old woman how I have faulted, blamed, and hated money for my whole life because of it.
Saying “money took my mom away from me” in that specific way opened up a whole new world and created a whole new possibility in my relationship with money.
Money did not “take” my mom away.
Money is not the root of all evil.
The same way ‘guns don't kill people, people kill people.’
Money is not evil.
Money does not create character, it reveals it.
If a compassionate, loving person becomes a millionaire, they donate, contribute, start causes and foundations, and more.
If a driven person obtains money, they will use it to advance their ideas and projects.
If a highly spiritual/conscious person obtains money, they will use it to create positive impact and contribute to the good of all.
If a wounded person obtains money, they collect materials to stuff the holes in their hearts to numb the pain. They buy things, people, and more.
If an insecure person obtains money, they will use it to win the affection of others.
If a vengeful person obtains money, they will use it to spite their perceived enemies.
I have blamed money for so many problems in my life and in this world and that is just not fair to money.
Money does not do those things.
The people handling it do and they too are actually not evil, but instead horribly wounded, misguided, misunderstood, and unattended to.
From this day forward, I forgive you money.
I'm sorry for blaming you.
I'm sorry for hating you.
I'm sorry for shunning you.
I'm sorry that I have taken out decade’s worth of unhealed issues on you.
You didn't ask for it.
You didn't cause it.
You didn't do anything to me or my family and I see how I needed a scapegoat for my sadness, anger, blame, shame, and guilt.
You have taken the brunt of my misdirected frustrations and I have unconsciously been scathing you for problems that you have not caused.
I forgive you money.
I release my grudge against you.
I release my hatred.
I release my resentment.
I release my questioning and doubt.
I JUST realized that I've always thought you took my mom away from me.
That is not the case. There is nothing wrong. There is no damage done. There is no fault to assign. It just is what is. It went how it went and created what it created.
I wouldn't be me if it didn't go exactly the way that it did and I love the way that I turned out.
I love who my mother is.
I love the way my family is.
I love everything about my life.
Therefore, I love you too money.
I love my life. I love my people. I love my past and I am eager for my future.
Thank you, money.
Thank you for accepting me the way that I am.
Thank you for your patience as I've resisted and cursed you for longer and farther back than I can even know.
Thank you, money, for your patience as I have worked myself out.
Wanting you and yet, hating you.
Needing you and cursing you.
Earning you and wishing you away.
I have been so conflicted for the last decade as an adult trying to navigate her way through the world.
Between feeling manipulated, cursed, blessed for seconds at a time, using you, and wanting you more than a drug to alleviate my physical, mental, and emotional pain, this has been one hell of a roller coaster relationship.
It has been such a tumultuous relationship and I am ready to lean in with tender love, forgiveness, and acceptance of everything that you are and everything that is possible in our co-creation.
Thank you for your patience money.
I am grateful for your unbiased ways.
I am grateful for your inanimate ways.
It is I that have ‘given you life’ and villainized you.
I am simply grateful to have realized that I can recreate my perspective of you to better suit my growth, transformation, commitments, intentions, and impact.
I am grateful to know that no matter how much I change, you never will.
You will remain simple, steadfast, and available.
I am done cutting myself off from your graces.
I am done limiting my potential with my limiting beliefs.
I am done cursing such a beautifully powerful tool that will help me make THE EXACT impact that I came here to this planet to make.
Thank you forever, money.
I love you.
I can’t wait to receive more of you.
I can hardly wait to share, spend, and save more of you.
I can’t wait to celebrate all of life’s abundance and prosperity WITH you.
All my love,
First and foremost, I am sorry for your loss.
It is important to feel this feeling of loss.
Grieve, unravel, wallow, and lament over it.
That is what your ego would love for you to do.
You are a human and you were blessed with feelings.
The thing to do with feelings is to feel them fully and IF you commit to feeling them fully, you will actually feel your way ALL THE WAY through them and they will dissipate.
You are currently collapsing your current progress and success with the death of the loved one.
Your ego also loves this because you are subconsciously associating your success with other's death.
This will ensure the death of your success.
Grieve and feel....and rest and heal.
Become conscious enough not to spiral into oblivion questioning everything.
You are doing amazing work and with that growth will come fresh tests of your new skills and awarenesses.
Breathe deeply and begin to enhance your grounding practices that will bring you back to center fast and frequently.
You are not alone here on Earth.
Your loved one is not gone, she has transitioned, and it is VERY likely she will be assisting the growth of your life and business in very magical ways now, if you can work yourself through your grief enough to proceed with your purpose.
You got this.
Breathe, cry, and exhale love ❤
Today, I had had 6 calls with my programs, clients, associates, and more.
I paid a bill.
I got to the post office.
I finally got my Real ID and actually walked in and out of the California DMV is LESS than an hour!
I booked more calls and appointments, answered emails, networked, and started new collaborations.
I also ate, meditated, and even napped.
And it's 'still not enough.'
It was not enough to feel accomplished enough to negate this lump in my throat.
I couldn't achieve or succeed my way out of it.
Anxiety has had a hold on me since Tuesday and gaining its own momentum.
As an Empath, all of this Coronavirus conversation is activating all my feelers.
I am absorbing the collective pain, fear, rage, scarcity, and suffering of humanity and I have aches and pains in my body that I don't have on a daily basis.
My energy centers are SUPER out of whack and I am feeling heavy, sad, and lethargic.
All of a sudden, I have been extra worried about money, time, and responsibilities.
I am feeling behind and rushed.
I am pondering irrational fears that I have worked out in all of my coaching, therapy, and transformational work.
This evening, this lump in my throat feels more like a full on choke hold.
Worst of all, it's an invisible one.
I can't wrestle my attacker to the ground.
I can't kick and run.
I can wiggle my way out.
I have to relax my way out because the harder I fight, the tighter it gets.
Relaxing into my struggles is a technique I learned in my years as an emotional intelligence expert.
I have come to understand that we create our misery in our attempts to avoid our misery.⬅️
Facing it frees us up and so oddly enough, I have become very grateful for the lump in my throat.
It is my body's physical communication to slow down and pay attention. My body is shouting 'SOMETHING'S WRONG HERE!'
I used to ignore this. I used to try to achieve and succeed my way out of this feeling and it has cost me so much so many times.
That strangled feeling has crippled me in many instances and prevented me from making sound, healthy, empowered choices.
Now, I know to pay attention to it.
I know pain is my body talking to me and I am willing to listen attentively.
Because of that, I don't have to spiral.
This LEARNED AND PRACTICED skill has been the direct cause of my growth and maturity that has evolved my business, relationships, and life.
I am less reactive everywhere in life and I am able to make powerful choices that I am proud of and satisfied with.
So right now, my throat hurts.
And so right now, I am going to slow down, pay attention, listen inward, and honor what I hear.
I am going to care for myself and anyone I come into contact with because I recognize that basically everyone on the planet is going to be impacted by this pandemic (of hysteria) and is going to need some love, care, compassion, and guidance.
So if you have a lump in your throat, a weight on your chest, a knot in your stomach, a cramp, a sting, or whatever, your body is talking to you....and it only speaks in whispers.
Slow down so you can listen in.
The answers you seek lie dormant within.
Eyes up, ears on, heart open.
We cannot serve from a low frequency and so it is your responsibility to take care of yourself so that we can heal as a Collective.
If you are not a part of the solution, are a part of the problem. Please act consciously.
If you are feeling as heavy and constructed as I am today, I invite you to educate yourself about what it means to be an Empath with my Empath Empowerment Series.
I wish so much that I had some way to work one on one with every human everywhere and I had to accept that I can't.
*no really, like I had to mourn that idea/hope/plan cause I really wanted to.*
Because I cannot physically do that, this series was the most effective way I knew I could support the softest Hearts of humanity, the bleeding hearts, the Empaths.
I truly hope it serves you.
I love you.
I love Me.
I love Love.
Good night. Be well. Be kind.
"Grief is the cemetary of life"
Grief is a natural part and process of life.
Not processing it and staying stuck in it, gripping onto your right to grieve is unnatural and unhealthy.
It's okay to grieve. It is also okay to not be okay and ask for help.
It's okay to get support.
It's okay to move past your grief.
Many of us are afraid to come out of grief because we are afraid it means we no longer value what we were grieving in the first place.
I am here to invite you to reinvent or recreate your relationship to that which you are grieving into Gratitude.
How did this loss help you?
How did this grief grow you?
How will this grief serve you?
How can this grief expand your heart and compassion?
Don't stay in grief my love.
You weren't meant to.
It happened to peel layers away so you can unleash your raw, beautiful heart with this world.
I love you.
Wipe your tears.
We are waiting to see that smile again.
A prospective client asked for a description of what I do and I haven't just written it out in a while.
I think that a lot of you are used to seeing my podcast, books and Hearts Unleashed promotional marketing fun, but I don't often just give you the bare bones of my work.
I am inspired by the clients I work with weekly 1:1.
A LOT of the work I do is very low key and 'behind the scenes' if you will.
I meet humans over the phone and via Zoom to dig SUPER deep into their Hearts to demolish the barriers they have built up around them.
I cry real ass tears of Gratitude for getting to make a LIFE CHANGING difference in the lives of the humans I get to work with in my coaching programs.
My company is called Hearts Unleashed not just because it's cute and catchy...it's because that's exactly the work I do.
I be real so my clients know it's safe to come out.
I share all of me so they will share all of them.
I ugly cry so they can ugly cry.
I laugh and smile so they know it is safe to enjoy the joys of life.
I listen nonjudgementally so they can feel heard, seen, loved, and understood.
I want you to realize that when YOU let YOUR guard down, YOU get to meet YOURSELF.
And that's when the game begins to change.
I don't share the basics often, but tonight this prospective client inspired me to remind you beautiful Hearts, of what exactly I am doing behind all this social media posting and promoting.
I am a Clarity Coach and I help people get clear about:
Who they are
What they want
Where they're going
What's in the way
How to get there!
This may sound so uber simple and yet, you'd be surprised at how many are actually SO unclear about those answers!
It CAN be that simple AND if it's complicated, your ego is involved.
My areas of expertise are Emotional Intelligence and Subconscious Reprogramming.
These are essential in achieving anything you desire because if you are unclear about the ways you self sabotage, you will find yourself in a cycle of surviving and suffering sprinkled with dissatisfaction, resentment, and lack of fulfillment.
You'll always be:
1: getting ready to get ready.
2: achieving and still feeling empty.
3: predictably 'failing' to hit your goals and coming up juuuust short so you don't have to carry the burden you believe success is.
You'll blame it on any and everything else and never feel in control of your life as your happiness seems to constantly slip through your fingertips.
One of my other favorite aspects I bring into my coaching is supporting self development junkies ascend into self mastery and authentic leadership.
I think we have all spent our fair share on the self development hamster wheel trying to fix ourselves. We become addicted to searching for what's missing so we can finally feel whole, complete, and satisfied.
We only get off the merry-go-round the day we realize and accept that we are not broken.
I make it my job to help you REMEMBER that you are not broken.
I have made it my life's work to help you remember, restore, accept, harness, and direct your power so you can transform your life and this world.
I love my work.
I love sharing my work.
I am RADICALLY GRATEFUL for my gifts.
I am RADICALLY PLEASED to use them.
I am RADICALLY HONORED to contribute.
I am RADICALLY HUMBLED to serve.
I love Me.
I love you.
And I love unleashing hearts.
Visit abigailgazda.com to start working together today.
And a major shout out to Alok Appadurai for my stellar hat to let everyone know just how grateful I feel about the 'work' I get to do in the world.
Thank you Alok for the spark of inspiration that helped me transform my business back in 2017. I am endlessly grateful.
My dears, as I sit here reading, writing, and reflecting, I am crying tears of Gratitude for every struggle...every set back...every new brick wall barrier I have smashed into along my growth and evolution.
Tonight, as I sort through a new setback, I read my daily devotional:
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie and it discusses anger.
This passage of letting go translated to my anger around money, its complexities, and seemingly endless challenges.
This reading reflected my karma for my willingness to avoid and ignore money and financial awareness for the last 5+ years.
Objectively, the emotion of anger points to something that is wrong and needs attention and boundaries.
"The final burst before letting go, settling in, and accepting."
Feeling guilt about my perceived financial failures and associated anger is like "getting shot with two arrows."
The first for the problem and the second for the suffering over the problem.
Since fall 2018, I decided to get serious about my financial literacy and I am perfectly fine telling you that it has been met with much resistance from my ego, inner children, ignorance, and intolerance.
While I have made notable strides that I am proud of myself for, money still has the power to push my buttons no matter how much I earn, spend, or save.
Next to figuring out romantic love, money is my life's greatest challenge...and the most crippling.
Today's reading opened up something new in my mind and heart.
The association to anger gave me access to see my resistance from a spectator's perspective.
I am ready to just open up to learning and evolving from the lessons the Universe is teaching me THROUGH money without so much resistance and suffering over them.
I cry as I type this cause there is a pressure release I can sense from choosing not to suffer over it all.
I am a happy and grateful for the financial challenges I have faced in my life because in this moment, I can see how I subconsciously created them to pull me through barrier after barrier (smashing my face against each one) to understand that I have been creating lasting lessons that will peel away every distraction...every temptation...every confusion...every impulse to support my unwavering decision to be financially, mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually free so that I may lead and inspire with the brightest light this being can hold.
I want you to know that WHATEVER you are struggling with is serving you and your path to enlightenment.
I want you to know that this journey IS NOT meant to be walked alone.
Do not struggle in silence.
It does not make you more noble.
It keeps you were you are.
The darkness will trick you into believing you have to hide your wounds so no one can pour salt in them.
Your misery is created in your attempt to avoid your misery.
Do. Not. Suffer. Alone.
We weren't made for that.
You may grow more Gratitude in the process.
I have missed coming into this community DAILY like I did for nearly two years to pour my heart out in Gratitude.
I have been making SO MANY shifts in my life, well-being, relationships, and business that being in here daily doesn't serve the greater good.
...selfishly, I miss that.
As a CEO of a growing full service transformation company, I don't.
2019 was the most INTERESTING year to me because instead of 'knowing it all' or thinking I can learn it all; I have developed a true and GENUINE curiosity.
My word of 2020 is TRANSCEND and it has NOT disappointed! In fact, it has been delivering in every sense. I have been truly transcending things that used to weigh me down.
I have grown so comfortable with not knowing shit. I have no need to know everything.
I have been happier letting go of my need to know anything.
This has truly caused a shift that I NEVER expected, which is to identify as my energetic self...
Without my physicality.
Without my personality.
Without my nationality.
Without my biology.
I don't fully identify with Abby or Abigail anymore.
There is a calmer, softer, slower, gentler, more tender, connected woman rising.
She feels fully.
She loves wholly.
She is satisfied naturally.
She breathes and listens deeper than ever before.
She kind of floats around as opposed to 'getting somewhere.'
She *who has not fully revealed herself* is making her presence known.
I can sense her as a Guardian Angel of sorts.
She is peaceful.
She is omnipotent.
She is clear, aware, and assured.
I sense myself as a Guardian Angel having taken flesh on this physical plane.
The last 3-4 months, I have been doing a lot of transformational work to unify my physical and spiritual self...and it has been working wonders.
Previously, I had been afraid to embrace and embody her because she doesn't seem as entertaining as many of my past selves.
I had been afraid to be her because she has nothing to prove to anyone and I have always feared that would come off as indifferent, uninterested, or unenthused.
I had been afraid to be her for fear of losing your interest and feeling forgotten (which is one of my deepest fears).
I HAD BEEN afraid to be her and now, I am not.
This guardian angel version of me has been rising rapidly and it feels way more natural to just let go and lean in.
It is also, WAY more work to deny or dilute her.
She speaks clearly and loudly and I have been simply honoring what she has been saying.
It has certainly been working in our favor.
I don't know where she's leading us and I know that I don't need to.
I can feel it is so beautiful wherever we are headed.
I have had a hard time sharing this truth for fear that this community....you, my tribe, my peeps, my family, my friends, will start to think...
"OOOOOKAAYYYYYY, ABBY.....now you've really lost it."
And just find someone else to tune into, but that isn't why I started this group.
I started it TO grow. TO share. TO evolve.
AND TO do it in a very safe, welcoming space to think out loud and bask in all your Gratitude for the unfolding of YOUR life!
I am grateful to Abby, Abigail, Abs, and the hundred other identities I know I wear in this world.
I take them on and off at my leisure.
I am grateful I have shown up in all my forms to share in an unabashed, unapologetic type of way because I am having such a blast doing it!
I'll answer to all my names, but you'd be better off asking which woman you are talking to next time you see me because I will NEVER be the same as the last time you saw me.
As for now, I miss being in here every single day, but please excuse me while I pour my heart into growing my company, write my books, refine my efforts to serve as many as possible, and show up as a more unleashed version of infinite energy.
I will always come back a more fully expressed version of unconditional love.
Your soul is awaiting your curiosity.
Your spirit self is ready to shine.
Your heart is waiting to be unleashed.
It will take you looking inward to discover what awaits