Becoming Okay with the Unknown of Expansion

​It is only through a commitment to expansion will you actively surface more of what there is to heal.


I used to make myself wrong when I uncovered more shadow work.

I would judge myself as unhealed and incomplete and criticize myself as a fraud for 'acting' like a sage or mystic when I found myself to be deeply flawed.

Then it dawned on me.

I never really faced any dark shit when I lived a cushy life.

I never had to deal with anything uncomfortable when I lived a comfortably life.

I believe in ease, flow, joy, and all that jazz and I believe that when you expand beyond the norm, you will deal with resistance and darkness beyond the norm.

The life path that pulled me out of my comfort zone chose me before I chose it.

It put me through the tumbler.

Then, I would choose to jump in the tumbler, knowing it would take me higher, farther, and closer to my fullest potential.

Now, I commit to my calling over and over again and accept a season in the tumbler without toppling.

The tumble would predictably send me spiraling into existential crisis and meltdown and now, I am able to tumble, stumble, and center.  

I would feel like a fraud for still building a transformation business and calling myself any type of leader while struggling my way through a season of shadow work. -as if I was supposed to crawl into a cave during this season and only come out and back new, shiny, and polished.

That was back when I needed to prove my worth as a leader, coach, and guide.

Now I understand that a function of being a leader, coach, and guide is walking through a dark night of the soul clear about the light within casting clarity through the thick of it.

I have come to understand that great teachers teach from the other side of the trenches.

I used to think I had to stay in or get back into the trenches to pull others out until I heard, "God doesn't come down from Heaven to save or answer his people."

I feared that being fine in life would diminish my value as a relatable leader.

I was concerned that not prioritizing other people's fears would offend and disqualify me as relevant or valuable.

I was concerned that other's would judge the human nature to yell, cry, laugh, react, and walk away would diminish my power as a potent guide.

I thought....I feared...I assumed...I believed....I could go on and on about my limiting beliefs, narratives, and patterns.

The point is none of it has anything to do with the massive difference I make with humans.

If anything, further focusing on it impedes my ability to do so and that is not who or what I am.

I am a guide, channel, mystic, lover, leader, teacher, coach, and more.

Over the years of development, I have capped this in various ways.

I have also unleashed it to varying degrees.

And here I am unleashing it a bit more.

It has taken years and layers to develop an unrelenting okayness with our complete and utter not knowing and surrender any desire to control or manage (manipulate) outcomes.

It's so.....gripless.

It's so wordless.

It is nothing, and it is everything.  

And it is an endless unfolding of surrender and receiving.

A destinationless journey through the wild unknown.

Along the way, I have found that the greatest leaders also allow themselves to be led.

By those ahead of them and a higher power.

I have been a great leader and led by great leaders.

If you are a great leader, who specifically recognizes a Mystic is rising within and who is ready to step out, I invite you to the Mystic Rising Retreat in Sedona this September.

Message me for more information or to register.