Ya ever have a day, week, month, year, or life in which you are facepalming on a constant basis?
I did. Summer 2016. I was trying reeeeally hard to juggle more than I could handle. I was battling feeling like a loser after divorce and super determined not to let it 'slow me down.' I was working two jobs, moving apartments, taking a course, and transferring to a new job location....ya know....'cause of the divorce. The course I was taking was to develop as a life coach and entrepreneur and phase out of the 9-5 lifestyle. So here I was, an epic failure, trying to call myself a life coach. Cue the facepalming. I was spread faaaaaar too thin. I was over spending and undereating. I was dating a rebound guy when I wasn't ready. I felt over worked, under paid, and less than appreciated in my company. I was taking an insane leap of faith on yet another new venture. Aaaaaand all the while, I was trying to play it cool. Holy crapoly. I smacked my palm to my forehead so many times that I just started keeping it there. For how many times I said to myself, "Oh yoy, Abigail! Get it together!" You'd think I would have been able to get it together. I gotta admit. It took a while and a lot of facepalming....and eye rolling...and self pity for that matter. I felt like a complete fraud. I was struggling with a story I had written about myself being a loser and reject. I was trying to overcome my struggle while denying that it was affecting me. After about three months of this the mess, instead of facepalming, I threw both hands in the air and said, "ENOUGH! I am hurting! I am scared! I can't do this alone and I am done trying so hard to be okay!!!" I finally asked for a hand! I got into therapy to sort through my leftover hurt from divorce. I had a life coach to start taking steps forward as a powerful woman instead of broken girl. I found a recovery program in which I was able to relate to others with similar backgrounds. I began the process of acceptance, healing, and letting go. I evolved further as weeks and months went by. I began transforming into Woman. I stepped out of victim and into leader. I took responsibility for my life and how it is on a daily basis. No more facepalming. NOW, that doesn't mean it's perfect. It means I live on purpose. I'm not out in the world living from doubt, fear, and regret. You see, a facepalm moment for me was an outward self disapproval. It was a moment of being disappointed in myself for 'being dumb' or missing foreseeing something. There was a lot of judgement that I cast on myself during this phase of growth. I had to get present to the victim that I was playing and the game I was participating in. The game I was playing was the "I'm a loser" game and let me tell ya, I was winning that game. Once I saw it for what it was, I was able to chose a different game. I now play the "Sunshine and Rainbows" game. I am always playing for the life experience of Sunshine and Rainbows. In this world, I can have it all: life, career, relationship, connection, joy, play, adventure....all of it and more. I can create a full life. I can take bold swings and fail in the face of Sunshine and Rainbows and laugh it off as a fun attempt. There is wiggle room in this context because it doesn't have to actually 'go my way' or look perfect. Even in a swing-and-a-miss, I am still playing a bigger game. I am always playing for my biggest life. I am always swinging for the fences and if I strike out at-bat, I know that I have another chance in the next inning! This game is never over....until it's over. In this game, I can handle anything! Talk with a potential client. Talk with a new guy. Talk with a new prospective collaboration. Talk with a new publisher. So on and so forth, from Sunshine and Rainbows, I am enjoying the experience as much as the results. In this life, no facepalming. No self hate. No self doubt. No wondering. Just evolving. Just creating. Just living. I find it absolutely hilarious because it is the opposite of what I say when talking to clients, groups, etc. "I am not selling Sunshine and Rainbows here because this work isn't easy...." What I am creating in my work, what I am "selling," is your chance to take swings at Your fullest life. What I have found in my own process:
If your palm and face are tired of meeting, call me. Let's have your head meet your heart. Let's have You meet the highest and best version of You. Today's photocred: (c) Brigitta Moser / Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards www.comedywildlifephoto.com Facebook & Insta: @comedywildlifephoto
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 The answer is yes.
The answer is always yes. I have a lot of clients ask me for advice in our calls. While I am no Dear Abby, I can tell they want to know what the best next decision is for his/her life. Whether it is about a career move, relationship move, or anything, the questions I hear them really asking me is: "Do I have permission to be myself?" "Do I have permission to trust myself?" "Am I allowed to do what I want?" The answer is yes. The answer is always yes. A request for advice is more of a request for agreement about a next move or phase of life. We as humans CRAVE agreement in our decisions. We want confirmation that we are 'right' by our friends and family...and ourselves. We operate as if we have backing that our decision is a better one and we have more chances of success/survival. It is a natural side effect of the human condition to want our thoughts and feelings justified so that we feel more comfortable doing (or not doing) something. This way of being tends to diminish our Power, Freedom, and Self-Expression. It keeps us safe. It keeps us limited. It keeps us surviving decisions instead of making powerful choices. The interesting part of life is we are the creators of it. We determine its quality. We are in the front seat at all times but act like someone else's hands are on the wheel. We let folks give us directions, judge our driving, and have us doubting our ability to drive! We become so hyped up and focused on the destination that we forget the journey or that we are the ones driving. So when I hear a question such as: "Should I this/that/the other"? I hear: Should I trust my gut? Should I follow my heart's desires? Should I listen to my intuition? My response: "Does a bear dance in the woods!?!?!" Yes. The answer is yes. No matter how it turns out, you will definitely find out more about yourself. You will uncover how capable you are. I will explore the idea that you do actually know what's best for you and your life. Beware of the need for confirmation, approval, justification, and agreement. Not getting it may stop you for going for something you truly want. It may prevent you from venturing outside of your comfort zone! It may keep you small or have you give up on a dream of your own. Beware of your desire for advice. It may lead you astray from who YOU are and what YOUR heart wants. If you need agreement, get a life coach. I can tell you they won't agree with you but they will ask you enough questions that you agree with yourself. You'll come to know yourself so damn well that you won't need anyone else's clearance to go for your dreams, own yourself, and rock your world!!!! Beware of Bears dancing in the woods. They don't care if you're watching. And they don't need your approval. My invitation is to get to dancing on your own. Close your eyes if your scared but start shakin' what cha Momma gave ya! Live the life you love! Today's photocred: (c) Alex Jevon / Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards www.comedywildlifephoto.com Facebook & Insta: @comedywildlifephoto  This is an actual picture of me in my early twenties trying to figure out life! It is me running 100 miles in the wrong direction trying to win someone else's race. I spent a lot of energy trying to figure it out and 'do it right' as I went through college, entered the workforce, got married, and faced adulthood full steam ahead...and I was running out of steam.
I was all up 'in the weeds' about how this whole 'adulting' thing works, how it goes on the daily, and what I'm supposed to do to be considered successful at it. From the outside perspective, I was rocking it! I was a college athlete, teacher, coach, manager, consultant, wife, etc. I was doing my best to win this 'grown up' game. Internally, I was floundering in my emotions. I didn't feel like an adult. I felt like a girl trying to pose as a Woman. With that mindset, I would never be able to 'figure it out.' Deeper than that, I would never feel a sense of true fulfillment or satisfaction. Being the lost in the weeds is almost like being lost in a Halloween haunted house. You can't see further than the next turn and the walls keep closing in tighter. Scary stuff keeps popping out at you and the only thing you're trying to do is survive and escape. Being lost in the weeds creates a tunnel vision. This limiting circumstance has an incredible effect on who you're being and what becomes possible (or impossible) for you in life. The walls really begin to close in on your potential and what you say can be done. The unknown becomes a scary place that you have no access to and don't even wish to explore. As far as Freedom, Power, Joy, or Self-Expression goes, you can completely forget that. The only focus becomes surviving. My emotional walls were closing in on me and I became very accustomed to dealing with anxiety. At one point, I owned it as a part of me. I had diagnosed myself with it. You know the bit: panic attacks, hyperventilating, crying for "no reason," avoiding situations that would trigger it, and of course my favorite, staying busy. I was in a regular chest collapsing, stomach cramping state of being that was so entirely unsettling. I would lose sleep and focus constantly and was always trying to strategize my next move. Little did I know that if I stopped sprinting around, took a deep breath, and shook myself off, I could actually see an entire vast field of opportunity that I am standing in as opposed to the branch and brush in my eyes. You see when you're 'in the weeds,' you can't see any further than them. It's like talking about the fate of one single tree and forgetting you are in the jungle. I spent a lot of energy on single trees. I would get so wrapped up in what was happening in that moment that I would lose sight of the big picture and the long-term. I also lost sight of the values I had for my life. I became consumed with acquiring enough money to look like I had it together. I sacrificed my deepest human needs of love, self acceptance, and quality time for keeping up with the Joneses. I could have fooled you though because I talked about houses, babies, and careers like I was ready. In reality I had no idea how to get settled on my current situation. Debt, doubt, and fear consumed me. I was overwhelmed with how others seem to have it down but I was in an internal freak out state. I gave up enjoying the journey in order to not feel left behind. Believe it or not, I count my lucky stars for my divorce everyday. Stopping this self destructive pattern of working relentlessly at the cost of my sanity and relationships was not even a consideration of mine. I was hellbent on my mission to maintain looking good in my white picket vision of my future. The Universe hand delivered divorce and said "Sit the hell down and think, Abigail!" Well, I did. I sat. I thought. I cried. I laughed and I got back to being Me. I had to remember my roots. I had to recall my upbringing. I had to remember building tree houses, basketball practices, and watermelon seed spitting contests. I remembered bike rides and tan lines. I had to remember that I am more happy in dirt and heat than sipping mimosas in the AC. Although, I do enjoy mimosas still.... I was forced to go back to the drawing board on Who I am and what I value. Surviving 'in the weeds' means finding the next meal. It means living to survive conditions and circumstances as opposed to creating them. There is no thriving from the weeds. Once I decided to thrive again, my life choices became so obvious, it was laughable. I quit my job, started my life coaching practice, moved to California, and the rest is yet to be written! Who I am is Heart, Vitality, Power, Grace, and Light. What I value is Love. I stand for peace and possibility for all. I believe in the greatness of humanity. I strive to create waves of positivity that ripples thousands of miles further than my arms can reach. Without being halted in my surviving ways, I could have lost sight of all this greatness. Because of the work I have done to get back to me, I am getting paid to do 'work' that I love. I am living in a place that makes me happy every day. I am sharing possibility with others like wild fire. I don't have to know EXACTLY how life is going to turn out. I know that if I am operating on the foundation of this paragraph, anything that I create will be pure magic. Thriving in all that life has to offer can create a life that you truly can't even see from the place that you are right now. It often requires 'clearing the space' you are in order for something new to show up. You must in fact get out of the weeds in order to see all of life. With clearer vision, more becomes available. Clients always want to know "what to do" and I coach them on "how to be." When they Be themselves, they choose their lives with power and grace. It is a spectacle to watch people wave their magic wands and create a life they love. I challenge you to shake off the weeds. Get out of there. There is nothing but more tough life lessons in the weeds. I understand many of us will remain there until we are extracted but I invite you to take a look for yourself and choose powerfully. If you are ready to end your surviving pattern and get to thriving, contact me. You have a life to live, not survive. It's time to get back to Being You and Live a Life You Love. Today's photocred: (c) James Mitson / Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards www.comedywildlifephoto.com Facebook & Insta: @comedywildlifephoto  Feeling playful this Friday for our Wildlife wisdom!
I felt like this photo represents my Dad and I this morning when I told him I was going skydiving for the first time today! I knew it was all love when he told me be careful, listen to the instructors, and check in after. I knew it was his natural instinct to care for me as I was about to take a bold leap out of a moving plane and straight into the sky strapped to a stranger. Have you ever been ready to take a bold leap of faith and your pride warns you to be careful, watch out, think it through, or take the safer route? Have you ever been ready to make a dramatic life change that requires bravery and faith and your tribe warns you of all the potential shortfalls? Have you ever been bursting at every seam and ready to take the plunge into the unknown and talked out of it by someone else's cautious concerns? Have you ever been ready to trust fall and even free fall into possibility and your loved ones try to pull you back up the ledge? It's all good. It's 'cause they love you. What's funny and ironic is their goal is to keep you safe when in fact your toes are on the edge and you are more than willing to risk it all in order to feel alive. You have lived a safe, comfy-cozy life and run that path dry. If you can sense you are at the end of the road for a job, relationship, way of being and it is time to make a drastic change, jump! Run! Skip for all I care. Just listen to your instincts! That is your heart pushing you toward the ledge. Trust your gut. It is time to make a change that will not only leave you uncomfortable but the folks around you scratching their heads about how you will work it out. Well guess what, you don't have to know and neither do they! It's truly okay not to know and it's truly okay to laugh about it! There are certain things in this life that we simply cannot control or predict. But we can always have a handle on Who we are being and How we are being about life and change itself. If you are living in love, laughter, joy, and play then all of life will seem to be that way....even the tough stuff. It can be scary but it doesn't have to stop you from living a full life. It can be new but new doesn't have to mean bad. The outcome can be unknown but unknown doesn't mean it's unsafe. If you're fighting and fighting feeling like you're living in a cage it's time to unleash yourself into the Wild. Unleash that Heart. It will guide you. Unleash that Curiosity. It will have you step forward. Unleash that Laughter. It will in have you enjoy the journey. Certainly, unleash that Love!!!! For when you love yourself enough to step into the unknown, your loved ones will learn to trust you. Trust where your heart is leading You. Trust your instincts. Trust that you are fully capable of having a full life. Trust that you can create a life you love. Go for it! ...and don't forget to laugh along the way! Much love, my Pride. Live the life you love. Today's photocred: (c) Austin Thomas / Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards www.comedywildlifephoto.com Facebook & Insta: @comedywildlifephoto  I caught myself actin' squirrely this week. I was playing a victim role and operating from a scarcity mindset. I notice it from time to time as an entrepreneur but I can't pretend I didn't do it in my 9 to 5. I can't even say there was more less of in either other scenario, just different.
The victim role in the scarcity mindset tends to create an inner dialogue about the lack of money, time, resources, love, and so on. It generates a lacking in life that seems to exist all over the place! Worst of all, the only thing that can happen to a victim is tragedy. Life happens TO victims. It's a sticky place to get stuck. I catch myself in a scarcity mindset when I'm operating out of fear, doubt, or some 'incapable' story I have about myself. When I'm feeling incapable, I live life braced for impact. I live as though danger and death are lurking around every corner. I watch my step, I calculate my moves, and I usually play a pretty darn safe. From this way of being I am the squirrel. I am living in abundance for the moment but really, I am just prepping for disappointment. Planning for the weather change. Storing up just enough to survive and for about 6 months out of the year, I'm not really living 'alive.' So I keep a lookout for the Surviving Squirrel. I make sure to catch myself when I am gathering corn and beans and almonds for the food drought. When I am in survival mode, I can only see the next stalk of corn or acorn laying on the ground. I cannot see the bigger picture. If I'm standing in a tree, I'm looking for bark and berries instead of understanding I'm 30 feet above the ground with nothing but the sky as the limit. Living with tunnel vision for 'food' just to survive is no way to live when there is so much available in this world. So, when I see my inner squirrel 'squirreling,' I pause to reflect on what it is I'm prepping for. What am I afraid of? What am I resisting? What has me planning for disaster? If I get present to my mindset, I can take a look at my squirrely needs. When I am scared, I talk. When I am lonely, I talk. When I am afraid, guess what...I talk. Sharing myself with others is my access out of this forest of fear, doubt, and scarcity. Letting it out, being heard, and getting feed back is like finding a field full of food and no inclement weather in sight. The clouds open up, the sun starts shinin', and I can be on my squirrely way. I can spend more time tree hoppin' and doing whatever else it is that squirrels do and enjoy the finer things in the trees. There is a different life to consider out of the forest of scarcity. Ever feel a little squirrley yourself? -Don't sweat it, we all do.- It's called being human....well, in this case, squirrel. If there were a food supply all year-round, how would you go about your days? If the weather didn't turn treacherous and you had to hide out, what would you do on a daily basis that has You enlivened, fulfilled, and experiencing nature for the vast beauty that it is? Get to diggin' squirrel friends. Life is out there to live and love....not just survive. Life the life you love. Today's photocred: (c) Barb B'Arpino/ Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards www.comedywildlifephoto.com Facebook & Insta: @comedywildlifephoto  Welcome to my newest idea in transforming what it means to be human! I happened to come across this wildlife photography competition called The Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards a while back. It was a late night laugh for me as I scrolled through the handful of HILARIOUS photos of the animal kingdom captured at the most opportune time. I literally LOL'ed as I looked at each one imagining a time in my life that I felt the emotion of these featured friends. I couldn't help myself as I wrote a letter to the competition Founder, Paul Joynson-Hicks, asking his permission to share this Joy with the world. Well, guess what, HE'S COOL! So lucky us, I get to put the 1000 words to these kick ass captures! Together we're going to dissect overcoming the 'obstacles' of humanity. We are going to distinguish our stories as stories that have no power over us. We are going to break free from our limiting beliefs. We'll trade in our barriers for dreams. We're going to shift what it means to be human these days. We're going to share some laughs about the blunders of our struggles being depicted by the animal kingdom. Join me in a journey of self discovery. Join me love and laughter. Join me in humanity and grace. Join me in a journey to a freer life. Keep a look out for Friday releases of Wildlife Wisdom posts to fuel your fire and light your way!  SUPER SHOUT OUT to Paul Joynson-Hicks and the The Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards Finalists for their commitment to their passion. What a blessing it is to live the life you love and laugh along the way.
Today's photocred: (c) Megan Lorenz / Comedy Wildlife Photo (c) Alison Mees / Comedy Wildlife Photo Awards www.comedywildlifephoto.com Facebook & Insta: @comedywildlifephoto |