Understanding that I am not 'Broken'
I was standing at I microphone in front 110 people and a world class leader when I realized I had spent my whole 28 years trying to fix my self.
I was always trying to be good enough. .
Reach...and maintain...perfection .
Based on the leader's questions, I saw how I felt fundamentally unlovable. Mid convo, it hit me like an apple that fell right off a tree and landed on my head.
From school to sports to sex, I was trying to validate myself outside of myself. I needed proof of my lovability and I had to earn it. For at least two full decades, searched beyond my nose for the solution to an unanswerable question on repeat in my heart.
"But do you love me?"
No one could confirm it enough times to quench that insatiable thirst. There is no limit to how many times I need to remember. My constant seeking kept me constantly seeing.
Speaking this out loud to a room full of people reflecting my greatness and lovability helped me see the lie I was living. I was living a victim story about being some type of broken. I got to have my pity parties and temper tantrums with it.
I didn't exactly know who I would be without it....until I considered the option.
As my eyes darted through the crowd for my next smile or head nod I caught myself DOING IT IN THE MOMENT. I sensed myself creating love outside of my to fill me up and feel whole. Right then and there was end of my disconnection from myself.
There is NOTHING wrong with me.
I AM nothing.
I am a vessel for which love flows.
Without my unlovable story, I am heart, vitality, power, grace, and light.
I am kind, loving, tough, sweet, classy, sexy, radiant, brilliant, gorgeous, generous, adventurous, angelic, splendid af.....I could go on...
From lovable I am Me.
Wholly, completely, and unabashed.
As me, I am creating a life I am obsessed with. 💕
If you're not broken, who do you say you are?
What are you creating?
Blessings From The Mouths of Babes
My favorite call with a client is a completion call.
It is usually bittersweet because it is our final call but it is an opportunity to say everything there is to say in order to declare the relationship whole and complete. There is nothing missing or disempowering left that hasn't already been discussed and you guessed it, completed.
During this call we reflect on the work done and ground covered. We take a moment to acknowledge what the client has created and what has become possible in his/her life. We sit and bask in the greatness of the miracle of life.
With one amazing client's permission, I get to share the gold nuggets of what I do with any of you amazing humans. I get an opportunity to share what this client produced for herself in 3 months time while making a very pivotal transition in her life.
What are you Present to right now?
To take the time to reflect on what we create in life is a gift right back to ourselves. It is a moment of self-appreciation and a celebration of an investment in oneself.
It is such an honor to do this work.
All my love to this and every client taking responsibility for his and her life.
You are taking responsibility for the gift you are in this world.
It is an incredible blessing to be trusted with your heart and mind.
If you find yourself feeling inspired and ready to take on your own transformation, trust your gut.
It's time to start believing in yourself.
It's time to create a life you love.
Photo Credit: Lindsey Williams
I Found Joy In A Conversation
This is a face of pure joy!
This is a smile of inner peace.
This is a woman who absolutely loves what she does.
I have a key chain that I have had for at least 15 years. I hang it in my new living space every time I relocate. It reads "Wherever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucius
If you've known me for one minute, you know that is exactly how I live.
I'm not sure I have an off switch nor do I wish to anymore.
I have FINALLY come to accept Me.
I have harnessed my power.
I have accepted my greatness.
I have truly learned to love exactly who I am and who I am not.
It brings me such fulfillment to pick up my phone for a call with another heart to crack it open and unleash it on the world!
It provides me such satisfaction to stand up in front of a group and lead a transformational conversation that will leave people touched, moved, and inspired to live more intentionally.
It is as much an adventure as rock climbing, to hit the submit button on any post in which I share my insight and personal transformation.
Opening my heart has become access to everything and everything.
My heart being open and on display has created connection, relationship, and love all over this world.
A coaching leader once said that "100% of the quality of your life is directly related to the conversations you are dwelling in and living for."
The conversations that I dwell in and live for are the realest, the truest, and the boldest! It is a conversation from the Foundation of Who you are as opposed to the 'leaves in your gutter.' This conversation gets in on what's important to you and brings you alive.
This conversation is for everybody.
A full life is for everybody.
To generate that with any one, any one thousand, or any one million is exactly why I'm on this Earth.
I understand the gift that I am.
I understand the purpose that I serve.
My mission has become generating so much possibility that others can in fact see it for themselves AND go for it!!!
When I say Live the life you love. I so truly mean it. I know that you can. I know that you are capable of earth shattering transformation that can have you living a life you love and living it powerfully.
If you are ready to live a life you love and have no idea how, GREAT!!!!
It means that you are willing!
If you are willing to figure out how to go for it, let's!
Call me and we will walk hand in hand and going for it together.
I love Me. I love You. I love Love.
Life the life you love.
Photo credit: DeQwan Young
Insta: @qwantitymedia @qwantityentertainment
Doin' The Most
If you're under the age of 20-something, "doin' the most" is considered a dis.
If you're livin' just to survive, "doin' the most" is a plate load of responsibility and anxiety.
If you're livin' just to get by, "doin' the most" is a far stretch from anything your up to.
If you're livin' on purpose and with purpose, "doin' the most" is the favorite thing on your list!!
When you take a closer look at commitment, choosing your dreams will empower your life. When you choose your bigger 'what for' and set your sights, you gain incredible clarity in the now. You can choose your path and start "doin' the most" in that direction. What serves and severs you becomes glaringly obvious.
Seeing my fullest life in my mind's eye has me enjoying every part of this journey!
Declaring your desires and acting on them with intention will have you ACTUALLY experiencing the life you dream of. You become set free from problems as problems. Every moment, person, and event becomes part of the experience and an opportunity to evolve. From this space, life becomes quite the adventure ♡
Get out there, start "doin' the most."
Aka, go live life.
Aka, get to gettin'!!
Be you, do you, and light up your world.
If Patrick Star can do it, I KNOW you can!!
Live the Life You Love!
Just Keep Swingin'
I have been on a year long transformational journey. Life coaching, therapy, inner child work, friend/family support, Landmark, meditation, spiritual searching, recovery work, you name it.
Originally, I was out to "fix myself"
Then, it was to love myself.
It became discover, own, and share.
I went for alllll of the things available to figure out this 'I'm unlovable' complex I had going on.
'No stone unturned' became my new mission.
Well, guess what folks.
Seek and you shall find.
Ask and you shall receive.
I have kept going and I have kept getting.
Well I get it....and Ima keep gettin' it!!!
If we learn ourselves enough, we begin to see from an aerial view what games we play and stories we run. Learning yourself enough to realize that you are living in your complexes will allow you the freedom to choose a new one. Learning yourself SO MUCH that you can stand face to face with your story and choose to write a more fulfilling one will have you experience yourself as unstoppable.
If you are on the swing, keep swingin'
If you are in the house staring out the window, get outside.
If you fell backwards and knocked the wind out of yourself, get the heck back up and on!!!!
If you need a hand cause the swing sits too high, call me. It's time. The wind in your hair and feet in the air is worth it.
Live a life you love.
Fine Tuning Gratitude.
Monday, I drove home from AZ.
I hit unexpected traffic that turned my 5.5 hour drive into an 8 hour drive. I had to skip a meal and shower and go to work in dirty clothes because I cut it super close.
Without gratitude, this could have gone wrong, quick. Road rage-hangry-running late energy could have made the whole calender day a disaster. I could have even let it affect this morning or day or week.
But I choose gratitude.
I choose to celebrate that I just left family from a great holiday in my car that runs on my way to my job that pays. I choose to thank myself for snacks packed and even having work clothes handy.
There is more than more to be grateful for, everyday.
It. Is. YOUR. Choice.
I watched kids be kids all weekend!
To watch the world from the perspective of a child can really stop you in your tracks if you stay present.
No shirt, no shoes, NO PROBLEM!
A new this or that is nowhere near as important as an older cousin coming to town ♡ I got to joke, paint nails, tuck in, and give good night kisses. We shared stories, laughs, and food. We lived. We lived only in that day and that moment.
It was glorious.
It was refreshing.
It was nothing but love in it's purest form.
So to really nail it home on fine tuning Gratitude....
Choose Miracles over Misery.....they are everywhere for the taking.
Choose Presence over Peril.....there is always something to be grateful for.
Choose Progress over Perfection.....the process never ends and perfection is an illusion.
LIVE.....actually LIVE the life you love.
So I'm sure you've seen the dozens and dozens of posts about how awful 2016 was....
Life will still happen in 2017.
The beauty of letting go is that what happens in the past does not have to be drug into the present or projected into the future!
Letting go is an amazing skill. It is one that most definitely takes practice. No matter what your technique: meditation, working out, solitude, self development, etc.... whatever it may be, I challenge you to practice letting go.
Let go of what's holding you back.
Let go of the negative energy that is telling you things can't go the way you planned.
Let go of all the evidence you've collected your whole life that you can't have it your way.
Also take a good hard look at how holding on is limiting you.
Take a look at how holding on keeps you in the past or "standing still" in life. Look closer at what you are actually holding onto and what is costs you. Consider how much of your energy and head space are consumed by the past and how that is capping what's available and possible for your future.
I am grateful for the days I do the work to let go. It is almost as literal as cleaning out my closet. I am not only getting rid of the old, dingy, and outdated; I am making room for the new! When I do the work of letting go, I feel lighter and more aware. I can clearly see many more opportunities to go after all that is possible. When I let go, I have this availability to choose my actions from commitment to becoming the best version of myself.
Lastly, another beautiful piece of letting go is that it allows you to become very present to all the blessings you have. As a result of letting go of the past, you rubberband snap yourself right back into the now. The grass becomes greener, the sky becomes brighter, and the birds grow louder. You realize that you are not in that old story. You are here, now. You are alive and well, really, and you have a new chance at life.
Let go of what's not and grab onto what is!
Go live today.
Live the life you love,
The No Matter What Club
The "No Matter What" Club
It wasn't created, just named. Therefore, no meetings!!
No Matter Whaters aren't born, they are made.
"No Matter What" isn't a thing you do.
"No Matter What" is a mentality.
"No Matter What" is a commitment to all that is possible.
We know "No Matter Whaters." Those people in the world paving paths. Those souls striving to make the most of every minute. Those hearts on fire for experience: sights, sounds, tastes, and allll the feels. Those lovers out there observing, creating, and sharing as much greatness as possible.
Those people who believe so fiercely that no obstacle or objection will stop them for going after everything possible in life.
The "No Matter Whaters" are beams of light so undeniable, they ignite passion and excitement just being present. They evoke thought and action with their catalyst energy. It is like staring at a unicorn to see someone you know living the most they can and loving with all they have. Their love of life is so apparent that it brings a sense of joy to any and every adventure.
I have noticed the power that veteran "No Matter Whaters" posses is practiced and steadfast. I find it awe inspiring to see and feel that light beaming from my friends, family, mentors, and peers.
"It is a belief that we deserve the best life possible for ourselves and those we affect."
I am grateful to have these sources of energy in my life to remind me of what I am up to in the world.
I am grateful to be a "No Matter Whater."
I won't kid you. It takes practice, patience, commitment, self trust, and self love. It takes knowing, stating, declaring, and believing that you deserve the life you love. It takes setting boundaries and asking for support. It takes a self love so strong that you can ask for what you want and actually being okay recieving it without guilt or self judgement. No matter what it is you want in life, it requires deciding that you can have it no...matter...what.
The belief that comes with a "No Matter What" perspective is what will guide you and keep you on your path to the best version of yourself. Stay curious about all that is possible. Stay curious about what your subconsious is telling you. Stay the course of growth and enlightenment. Stay the course of self discovery. Stay the course of living with purpose and no matter what, you will create more of what you want in life and the world. The more you choose it, the more it chooses you.
Always always always live the life you love,
"I'm a doer."
"I'm a fixer"
"I'm an enabler"
"I am a problem solver"
*Whomp whomp whomp whoooomp*
#1 Rid yourself of verbal or mental self abuse, labeling, and limited beliefs.
#2 Let's spend the rest of this time elevated above self proclaimed titles that place you in a space you don't want to be in.
#3 Take on the idea that everything. is. perfect.
From this new, profound space, now let's look at fixing.
You break your arm, you get it casted; you can fix what's broken.
In matters of the mind, heart, and soul, we do not have any one cast that can ensure our ability to recover, redefine, or shift they way we relate to an experience, memory, place, person or time. There's no band-aids that fit on your brain or stitches for the soul. There is no end-all-be-all resolution, yet we find ourselves trying to fix what's broken. As a result, we create that ever haunting illusion that it is ourself that is broken. However, it's quite the contrary my friends, we are perfect.
Alright then, how do we fix this?!
Deep breath, people. I told you. You're perfect. Can you feel it yet?
This may take a few more swings.
When faced with challenging experiences, thoughts, people, jobs, etc. I challenge you to fight the urge to fix the issue and to just BE WITH IT! Lean in, feel it, FEEL IT ALL. What's there?
Instead of looking over, under, around, and behind the fire, look right through it. Walk right through it. Explore the parts that you have avoided. We know those times when it feels easier to avoid then be with. I am asking you to be with. See what's there and what you discover.
There may be sadness, anger, hurt, joy, confusion, laughter, longing, mystery, beauty and more. The longer and harder you look, the more you find. You know what's in that fire? YOU. All of you. The messy you. The person that you normally walk over, under, past, and around. The you that has been tucked away by the fixing. The YOU that is bursting at the seams to break through.
You will walk through and emerge out of the other side of the flames not "fixed" but ablaze! Enlightened by YOUR OWN awareness. Empowered by the better understanding of yourself and inspired to live out this new love for yourself.
At this point, you still interested in fixing?
Might I enroll you in living instead?
Living out loud.
When you walk through that fire and see what's there, you will find the good with the bad. You will find the happy with the sad. You will find that if you want a full life of joy; sadness, anger, and happiness are all on the spectrum as well. Embracing all of it for anyone to see releases the sense of control in fixing ourselves. You get to show up without working so hard to be something that you are not.
I invite you to know yourself. I invite you to own yourself. I invite you to share yourself with the world! There is no fixing in that. You are perfect and the world needs more of You!
Live the life you love,
Problems as Opportunities
We've all got 'em, right?
What if we started at the title? Let's start with the end in mind.
Problems are NOT problems.
Problems are opportunities.
What kind of opportunities?? So glad you asked.
Problems can be a chance to explore what "went wrong" and grow....every time.
Problems are an opportunity to expand our capacity for love, compassion, patience, understanding, reliability, literally any direction you can imagine.
"Problems are a chance for what you imagined happening to break completely down and prove to you (time after time) that the world will go on."
That you will survive this problem. That you will not only overcome this issue but will actually grow from it. You will learn what you like, don't like, will tolerate, and can handle.
HOW COOL! Problems are a chance to learn yourself. They are a chance to relate to the world from any way you choose: curl up, run out, or tackle head on. We can decide how problems go. We can decide how the 'problem' ends! Ultimately, this can empower us to chose the direction in which our life goes.
Have you ever experienced problem after PROBLEM taking you out?
Have you ever felt like the universe is just 'working against you'?
Have you ever just felt like a total victim of 'the way it goes'?
I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are the only one who can adjust this perspective. Insightful words or guidance mean nothing to you if you don't take on the choice that your life is not a series of unfortunate events you were meant to survive. If you find yourself wondering what direction your life is going, consider you are just not recognizing that you are the one in the drivers seat.
Grab the wheel baby! You are driving....a Mercedes! A Rolls Royce! A Tesla! Whatever fantasy car you have, you have the wheel, road map, and pit stops.
This is your Opportunity to take your Problem Goggles off and put on Possibility! Set backs provide us a chance to recommit to what we truly want. Adversities challenge us to declare how bad we want what we truly want. Challenges force us to face our fears in the face of what. we. truly. want.
In my own life, I have peeled back my layers so many times that I have found ME waiting right at the center of lifes "problems" and what I had set up as society's expectations of me. I had learned myself enough to follow my dream of becoming a public speaker. Opportunities to let problems stop me can seem to occur every day: being turned down on an offer, not hearing back, flat tire and showing up to an event late, hiding behind my fears/insecurties, having an event cancelled....endless problems can arise in a million different ways.
The question to consider: "Is this what I really want?"
Do I really want to get paid to show up as myself and inspire tens, hundreds, or thousands? Do I want to live a life I have chosen? Do I want to share my heart with others to deliver the message of self love and acceptance? Do I want to travel to see new lifestyles and still speak to the humanity in everyone? Do I want to live out loud while inspiring others to do the same!?!?! DO I EVER!!!! I can say with full conviction that I know what I want. I can say that any "problem" that comes along will simply be an opportunity sharpen my skills and expand my capacity to be with all that there is.
If it hasn't become clear yet, allow me to put it on loud speaker. Explore your heart. Find out what you truly want. Decide it actually can be a reality. Stay committed in the face of 'problems' on the path of getting where you are going.
Problems are speed bumps. Slowing you down on your way saying: "Hey You, is this what you really want?" Become so convicted about who you are and what you are going for that every problem is just another opportunity to get where you are going.
And as always...
Live the life you love,