The year and a half after divorce, I would call my sister, Emily, before my riskiest adventures of skydiving, snowboarding, backpacking, solo camping...my 1st match.com date...
I would send her my coordinates before a perceived risky situation and remind her "If I die, I died livin'!!!"
I haven't called her like that lately.
Not due to any shortage of adventures but because I have recalibrated my assessment of risk.
After more than a year and a half of flinging myself out of (quite literally) my physical comfort zone, I began finding myself out side of my emotional comfort zone.
Once I experienced myself capable of scaling the side of a mountain, I began to expand my range of emotions.
Once I realized dating in my thirties wouldn't kill me, I accepted that neither would expressing myself in an unabashed unapologetic way.
My physical adventures have supported my emotional journey.
Jumping off a cliff in the Grecian islands felt the same as telling my parents that I was afraid of disappointing them.
Once it was done, it was done.
Scuba diving 60 ft deep in the shores of Cabo was as breathtaking as calling my husband to talk about our divorce 3 years after the fact.
Standing atop mountains of Joshua Tree feels as monumental as standing on stage in front of a 1000 people telling them about my addiction to perfection and fear of rejection.
The phone calls to my sister joking about them potentially being "My Last One" were always equally playful and serious.
The risk of the adventure is both playful and serious.
At the end of my life, I will be as used up as I can be.
I will have given it my all.
I will have shed every attachment.
I will have released every fear, hope, insecurity, dream, doubt, and vision to a force much greater than me.
I have been doing this for years now.
Every risk, from defying gravity to defying my fears, I face head on knowing that I am nothing.
And nothing can stop me from living my fullest life.
By the end of it, I will be all used up having said yes to everything I wish to.
Yes to the adventure.
Yes to my relationships.
Yes to my desires.
Yes to me.
Yes to my dreams.
Yes to my potential.
Yes to my passion.
Yes to my flavor of genius.
I am here to make waves.
I am here to make a difference.
I am here to lead by example.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am here.
I am astonished with myself.
My zone of genius is my ability to connect, hear, understand love and transmute energy.
I am an Alchemist.
I am able to restore and unleash others.
I am nothing and I am everything.
I am galactic.
I am grounded.
It's time you live Unleashed.
I was standing at I microphone in front 110 people and a world class leader when I realized I had spent my whole 28 years trying to fix my self.
I was always trying to be good enough. .
Reach...and maintain...perfection .
Based on the leader's questions, I saw how I felt fundamentally unlovable. Mid convo, it hit me like an apple that fell right off a tree and landed on my head.
From school to sports to sex, I was trying to validate myself outside of myself. I needed proof of my lovability and I had to earn it. For at least two full decades, searched beyond my nose for the solution to an unanswerable question on repeat in my heart.
"But do you love me?"
No one could confirm it enough times to quench that insatiable thirst. There is no limit to how many times I need to remember. My constant seeking kept me constantly seeing.
Speaking this out loud to a room full of people reflecting my greatness and lovability helped me see the lie I was living. I was living a victim story about being some type of broken. I got to have my pity parties and temper tantrums with it.
I didn't exactly know who I would be without it....until I considered the option.
As my eyes darted through the crowd for my next smile or head nod I caught myself DOING IT IN THE MOMENT. I sensed myself creating love outside of my to fill me up and feel whole. Right then and there was end of my disconnection from myself.
There is NOTHING wrong with me.
I AM nothing.
I am a vessel for which love flows.
Without my unlovable story, I am heart, vitality, power, grace, and light.
I am kind, loving, tough, sweet, classy, sexy, radiant, brilliant, gorgeous, generous, adventurous, angelic, splendid af.....I could go on...
From lovable I am Me.
Wholly, completely, and unabashed.
As me, I am creating a life I am obsessed with. 💕
If you're not broken, who do you say you are?
What are you creating?
This is a face of pure joy!
This is a smile of inner peace.
This is a woman who absolutely loves what she does.
I have a key chain that I have had for at least 15 years. I hang it in my new living space every time I relocate. It reads "Wherever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucius
If you've known me for one minute, you know that is exactly how I live.
I'm not sure I have an off switch nor do I wish to anymore.
I have FINALLY come to accept Me.
I have harnessed my power.
I have accepted my greatness.
I have truly learned to love exactly who I am and who I am not.
It brings me such fulfillment to pick up my phone for a call with another heart to crack it open and unleash it on the world!
It provides me such satisfaction to stand up in front of a group and lead a transformational conversation that will leave people touched, moved, and inspired to live more intentionally.
It is as much an adventure as rock climbing, to hit the submit button on any post in which I share my insight and personal transformation.
Opening my heart has become access to everything and everything.
My heart being open and on display has created connection, relationship, and love all over this world.
A coaching leader once said that "100% of the quality of your life is directly related to the conversations you are dwelling in and living for."
The conversations that I dwell in and live for are the realest, the truest, and the boldest! It is a conversation from the Foundation of Who you are as opposed to the 'leaves in your gutter.' This conversation gets in on what's important to you and brings you alive.
This conversation is for everybody.
A full life is for everybody.
To generate that with any one, any one thousand, or any one million is exactly why I'm on this Earth.
I understand the gift that I am.
I understand the purpose that I serve.
My mission has become generating so much possibility that others can in fact see it for themselves AND go for it!!!
When I say Live the life you love. I so truly mean it. I know that you can. I know that you are capable of earth shattering transformation that can have you living a life you love and living it powerfully.
If you are ready to live a life you love and have no idea how, GREAT!!!!
It means that you are willing!
If you are willing to figure out how to go for it, let's!
Call me and we will walk hand in hand and going for it together.
I love Me. I love You. I love Love.
Life the life you love.
Photo credit: DeQwan Young
Insta: @qwantitymedia @qwantityentertainment
If you're under the age of 20-something, "doin' the most" is considered a dis.
If you're livin' just to survive, "doin' the most" is a plate load of responsibility and anxiety.
If you're livin' just to get by, "doin' the most" is a far stretch from anything your up to.
If you're livin' on purpose and with purpose, "doin' the most" is the favorite thing on your list!!
When you take a closer look at commitment, choosing your dreams will empower your life. When you choose your bigger 'what for' and set your sights, you gain incredible clarity in the now. You can choose your path and start "doin' the most" in that direction. What serves and severs you becomes glaringly obvious.
Seeing my fullest life in my mind's eye has me enjoying every part of this journey!
Declaring your desires and acting on them with intention will have you ACTUALLY experiencing the life you dream of. You become set free from problems as problems. Every moment, person, and event becomes part of the experience and an opportunity to evolve. From this space, life becomes quite the adventure ♡
Get out there, start "doin' the most."
Aka, go live life.
Aka, get to gettin'!!
Be you, do you, and light up your world.
If Patrick Star can do it, I KNOW you can!!
Live the Life You Love!
I was handed this message from a fellow genius life coach, Linal Harris, after a team observation in which I displayed a full fledged temper tantrum breakdown.
"Gee, thanks bud." I thought cynically as I tucked it away in my notebook after the observation. I was especially jealous because I knew he believed his message.
At that time, I was too wound up in my woes to feel any sense of 'God' in me or my life. I was too busy holding a grudge against ANY form of spirituality to believe all my 'God got Me' folks.
Essentially, I was a walking 'eff you' to any form higher power. I couldn't see past my own nose. I was drowning in my struggles and spent more time worried about fixing what was wrong than accepting myself as a gift with a purpose. From this space, I had no sense of freedom, power, or full expression. I was broken, unlovable, confused, and angry.
Linal handed me the note, smiled kindly, and it has been in my notebook sense. I however, have not stayed in the same 'place' since then.
What I had discovered about myself was how hard I was working to perpetuate my struggle:
"I can't POSSIBLY be perfect!!"
"There's more work to do!"
"I'm not good enough yet!"
In my searching, I have found that I actually AM perfect, whole, and complete. I am made in the likeness of God (or whatever spirit suits your fancy). I am made as a perfect being sent to see and love the perfect being in others, just like Linal saw in me.
We are all spirit. We are all perfect.
To the MANY who have seen and related to the best version of Me, THANK YOU! I am ever grateful to have been called to higher levels of love and acceptance. It often takes being called forth to accept the challenge to choose outside of your struggle and into your greatest life.
Live in love.
Fall in love with the God in you.
Be a vessel in which others may gain access to the highest version of themselves.
As per usual, live the life you love.
I have been on a year long transformational journey. Life coaching, therapy, inner child work, friend/family support, Landmark, meditation, spiritual searching, recovery work, you name it.
Originally, I was out to "fix myself"
Then, it was to love myself.
It became discover, own, and share.
I went for alllll of the things available to figure out this 'I'm unlovable' complex I had going on.
'No stone unturned' became my new mission.
Well, guess what folks.
Seek and you shall find.
Ask and you shall receive.
I have kept going and I have kept getting.
Well I get it....and Ima keep gettin' it!!!
If we learn ourselves enough, we begin to see from an aerial view what games we play and stories we run. Learning yourself enough to realize that you are living in your complexes will allow you the freedom to choose a new one. Learning yourself SO MUCH that you can stand face to face with your story and choose to write a more fulfilling one will have you experience yourself as unstoppable.
If you are on the swing, keep swingin'
If you are in the house staring out the window, get outside.
If you fell backwards and knocked the wind out of yourself, get the heck back up and on!!!!
If you need a hand cause the swing sits too high, call me. It's time. The wind in your hair and feet in the air is worth it.
Live a life you love.
So I'm sure you've seen the dozens and dozens of posts about how awful 2016 was....
Life will still happen in 2017.
The beauty of letting go is that what happens in the past does not have to be drug into the present or projected into the future!
Letting go is an amazing skill. It is one that most definitely takes practice. No matter what your technique: meditation, working out, solitude, self development, etc.... whatever it may be, I challenge you to practice letting go.
Let go of what's holding you back.
Let go of the negative energy that is telling you things can't go the way you planned.
Let go of all the evidence you've collected your whole life that you can't have it your way.
Also take a good hard look at how holding on is limiting you.
Take a look at how holding on keeps you in the past or "standing still" in life. Look closer at what you are actually holding onto and what is costs you. Consider how much of your energy and head space are consumed by the past and how that is capping what's available and possible for your future.
I am grateful for the days I do the work to let go. It is almost as literal as cleaning out my closet. I am not only getting rid of the old, dingy, and outdated; I am making room for the new! When I do the work of letting go, I feel lighter and more aware. I can clearly see many more opportunities to go after all that is possible. When I let go, I have this availability to choose my actions from commitment to becoming the best version of myself.
Lastly, another beautiful piece of letting go is that it allows you to become very present to all the blessings you have. As a result of letting go of the past, you rubberband snap yourself right back into the now. The grass becomes greener, the sky becomes brighter, and the birds grow louder. You realize that you are not in that old story. You are here, now. You are alive and well, really, and you have a new chance at life.
Let go of what's not and grab onto what is!
Go live today.
Live the life you love,
The "No Matter What" Club
It wasn't created, just named. Therefore, no meetings!!
No Matter Whaters aren't born, they are made.
"No Matter What" isn't a thing you do.
"No Matter What" is a mentality.
"No Matter What" is a commitment to all that is possible.
We know "No Matter Whaters." Those people in the world paving paths. Those souls striving to make the most of every minute. Those hearts on fire for experience: sights, sounds, tastes, and allll the feels. Those lovers out there observing, creating, and sharing as much greatness as possible.
Those people who believe so fiercely that no obstacle or objection will stop them for going after everything possible in life.
The "No Matter Whaters" are beams of light so undeniable, they ignite passion and excitement just being present. They evoke thought and action with their catalyst energy. It is like staring at a unicorn to see someone you know living the most they can and loving with all they have. Their love of life is so apparent that it brings a sense of joy to any and every adventure.
I have noticed the power that veteran "No Matter Whaters" posses is practiced and steadfast. I find it awe inspiring to see and feel that light beaming from my friends, family, mentors, and peers.
"It is a belief that we deserve the best life possible for ourselves and those we affect."
I am grateful to have these sources of energy in my life to remind me of what I am up to in the world.
I am grateful to be a "No Matter Whater."
I won't kid you. It takes practice, patience, commitment, self trust, and self love. It takes knowing, stating, declaring, and believing that you deserve the life you love. It takes setting boundaries and asking for support. It takes a self love so strong that you can ask for what you want and actually being okay recieving it without guilt or self judgement. No matter what it is you want in life, it requires deciding that you can have it no...matter...what.
The belief that comes with a "No Matter What" perspective is what will guide you and keep you on your path to the best version of yourself. Stay curious about all that is possible. Stay curious about what your subconsious is telling you. Stay the course of growth and enlightenment. Stay the course of self discovery. Stay the course of living with purpose and no matter what, you will create more of what you want in life and the world. The more you choose it, the more it chooses you.
Always always always live the life you love,
"I'm a doer."
"I'm a fixer"
"I'm an enabler"
"I am a problem solver"
*Whomp whomp whomp whoooomp*
#1 Rid yourself of verbal or mental self abuse, labeling, and limited beliefs.
#2 Let's spend the rest of this time elevated above self proclaimed titles that place you in a space you don't want to be in.
#3 Take on the idea that everything. is. perfect.
From this new, profound space, now let's look at fixing.
You break your arm, you get it casted; you can fix what's broken.
In matters of the mind, heart, and soul, we do not have any one cast that can ensure our ability to recover, redefine, or shift they way we relate to an experience, memory, place, person or time. There's no band-aids that fit on your brain or stitches for the soul. There is no end-all-be-all resolution, yet we find ourselves trying to fix what's broken. As a result, we create that ever haunting illusion that it is ourself that is broken. However, it's quite the contrary my friends, we are perfect.
Alright then, how do we fix this?!
Deep breath, people. I told you. You're perfect. Can you feel it yet?
This may take a few more swings.
When faced with challenging experiences, thoughts, people, jobs, etc. I challenge you to fight the urge to fix the issue and to just BE WITH IT! Lean in, feel it, FEEL IT ALL. What's there?
Instead of looking over, under, around, and behind the fire, look right through it. Walk right through it. Explore the parts that you have avoided. We know those times when it feels easier to avoid then be with. I am asking you to be with. See what's there and what you discover.
There may be sadness, anger, hurt, joy, confusion, laughter, longing, mystery, beauty and more. The longer and harder you look, the more you find. You know what's in that fire? YOU. All of you. The messy you. The person that you normally walk over, under, past, and around. The you that has been tucked away by the fixing. The YOU that is bursting at the seams to break through.
You will walk through and emerge out of the other side of the flames not "fixed" but ablaze! Enlightened by YOUR OWN awareness. Empowered by the better understanding of yourself and inspired to live out this new love for yourself.
At this point, you still interested in fixing?
Might I enroll you in living instead?
Living out loud.
When you walk through that fire and see what's there, you will find the good with the bad. You will find the happy with the sad. You will find that if you want a full life of joy; sadness, anger, and happiness are all on the spectrum as well. Embracing all of it for anyone to see releases the sense of control in fixing ourselves. You get to show up without working so hard to be something that you are not.
I invite you to know yourself. I invite you to own yourself. I invite you to share yourself with the world! There is no fixing in that. You are perfect and the world needs more of You!
Live the life you love,
Anyone reading have a dream board? I do. I have a few.
A year ago, my dream board had a Mercedes, a title I wanted to hit in my network marketing career, a man at the top a mountain, and a insanely large house. You know those dream boards. In business, we call these driving factors our "Why's."
These images were meant to motivate us in our times of fear and doubt. They were meant to remind us 'Why' we are doing what we are doing and to what end...to 'make it'.
A month ago, my dream board had an open field of flowers, the word joy, a landscape of mountains, and the phrase "Born on Purpose."
Somewhere in the middle of creating those two dream boards, I distinguished a difference in how I was 'wanting' and how I was measuring success. What I distinguished was originally, I was chasing physical "things" that would represent to others and myself that "I made it." I have come to call those, The Shiny Things. That man atop the mountain represented ultimate success and happiness. I found out about myself that I was chasing this imaginary point in life.
"I was chasing the end. I was rushing to get to a point in life that I can "relax" or call it enough and feel as though I can retire in my efforts of 'getting there.' What I distinguished is that we never get anywhere."
Life is and always will be an ever evolving process of growth and experience with milestones to celebrate along the way. There is no one grand mountain top...and even if you get to one, from there, you can see another and another.
I learned that and created my second vision board based on the life experiences that I am craving. I yanked the 'made it' feeling from the future back into my now. I envision and live out the experiences that will fill my soul and life purpose (mine so happens to be adventure) now because tomorrow never comes if we don't create it today.
My favorite analogy of this would be parenthood. Relating to it as a mountain top experience would be like having that child and saying "Sweet! Parenthood! I got there! Whew, I can relax now!" I think we can all say that birth is not parenthood. It is the VERY beginning of a journey. This event leads to a life long commitment to the experience of parenthood and allllllll that that entails. It is an ongoing experience that shape shifts with age. Same analogy could go for wedding day vs. marriage.
Essentially, we know it can show up tons of ways. There is a large difference between the living a life that will continuously generate your happiness and self worth on a daily basis and struggling through life to get to some magical point where your happiness lies. Seeing and understanding this difference will set you free from the chains of achieving and making yourself good enough to earn happiness or love.
Like life itself, success also shape shifts with age. Success is not exactly those shiny things. It is living a life that you love. It is experiencing the freedom of full expression of who You are. Success is nailing down your life purpose and then living it so boldly that your true essence and impact in the world is undeniable and unstoppable. Coolest part, we all have purpose.
Do you remember that lunch lady that you could not understand how she could possibly be so happy being a lunch lady? -Yeah, that is what I am talking about. The glorious awareness that there is no one or nothing for you to be other than yourself. It is that peacful understanding that being You is what makes life SO FULLFILING. Lastly, it is the reassurance that being you creates the life experience you are wanting.
Take some mind time to consider what experince you want to be having of life.
Need help making bold choices? We all do from time to time. I wouldn't be writing it if it weren't something I hadn't experienced myself. If you need a hand grabbing at all that is possible, let me know.
Live the life you love,