I once recieved a very clear message from my guides "I gave you a voice to speak, NOW SPEAK!"
I turned to my fiance
and offered it to him, "I think I have a message for you. This seems really direct but I don't think it applies to me..."
You see, at the moment, I had concluded: 'I am an author, podcaster, and professional speaker. I definitely use my voice to speak. This can't be for me.'
Here we are months later and we have used it in our relationship to speak up for ourselves and each other. We have forged new paths together with our commitment to speak up.
Remember how I concluded that message wasn't for me?
I am growing in my business in stellar new ways and I clearly understand that I was a channel for that message because there were still (and always are) things I was not saying.
I have been long overdue for some upgrades in life and biz. It has been time for a while to set up some new boundaries, standards, and expectations. It's been time to practice new levels of responsibility that I have been able to dodge this far.
Speaking up is an invitation from divine guidance to release outdated modes of operation and step into next level leadership.
The thing that usually stops me from speaking up is my belief that I am inherently unlovable. That standing fully in my worth, power, and grace will turn people off and away.
I have used this fear to justify staying small and quiet...haha, yes, quiet. I have so much more to say and from a much larger platform.
I have used this fear to judge myself, can't enough be enough? Why do you always have to go for more? Will you ever just be chill/satisfied?
I have said a lot meaner things to myself about my dreams and desires and that meanness has never gotten me anywhere noteworthy.
My heart has taken me to great lengths but my critical mind has always kept it's foot on the break pedal.
Well, for the last few months, I have been taking a break from that.
I was riffing in a journlaing workshop and said "if you are too afraid to ask for it, you can't have it." Heads were nodding in agreement, I saw a few people write it down for themselves, and that message from my guides flew right back into my memory.
I GAVE YOU A VOICE TO SPEAK, NOW SPEAK!
Ask for what you need.
Admit what you want.
Talk about your dreams.
Say no when it's necessary.
Say yes when you know to, even if it's scary.
Shout your excitement from the mountain tops.
Speak life over your life.
Your words create your world *in the positive and negative directions* so watch your words and use them like building blocks for your life.
Take your foot off the break and let the life you dream about flood into your reality. It's waiting on your ask. It's waiting on your permission to enter.
You get to create a life you love, if you are willing to ask for it.
Client: Okay, but I have spent most of my life justifying by business and decisions. How do I not care about others opinions or judgments?
We all have this experience on some level at some point.
Short answer: Be willing to be misunderstood. Be willing to disappoint others.
It's really okay when others do not support or agree with your decisions, actions, desires, or lifestyle.
It's not their life.
They haven't walked your path.
They can't hear the whispers or your heart...sheit...you hardly can
When we finally decide to follow our heart and honor our truth, people might question it.
Simply put, those are not the ones to rely on for encouragement or support.
THAT DOES NOT mean we block them and move on.
It means we surround ourselves with a team that matches the frequency of the life we are living into and we proceed with the life we are creating.
Anyone who doubts us is just putting our own insecurities on loud speaker:
CAN I really do this?
IS this smart?
IS this safe?
HAVE I considered all the challenges?
WHAT IF I fail?
People's doubts and judgement are just something within us that is currently hidden from our view to identify within ourselves, heal, clear, bless, and release.
As far as that other person, bless them for their care, protective efforts, and love.
Thank them for the new insight into yourself.
Then move on.
Love them where they are and be okay if they don't understand your desires and actions.
This doesn't mean we cut them out. We probably love them. They are probably friends and family.
This just means we do the inner work of being okay with the discomfort of being misunderstood. It means being okay with the ideas of not meeting someone else's expectations of you. It means seeming to 'fall short' of some social norm.
I disappointed people when I left teaching.
I confused people when I left corporate.
I was warned about the inconsistencies of being self employed.
If I made other people's fears, concerns, or priorities more important than my vision, I wouldn't be where I am.
I would probably be doing something great, I am sure but nothing as rewarding as honoring my heart's calling in the face of resistance.
I would NOT be doing fulfilling work that I love, makes a huge difference, and pays more than I could imagine. I know this because I would have put others before myself in a way that I would be creating my life based on what others believed was good for me.
We can let our people love us without letting them run our lives, thoughts, and actions.
So I challenge you.
Who are you afraid of disappointing?
In what ways are you afraid of being misunderstood?
What judgment are you so afraid of?
Are you willing?
Are you willing to follow your heart and just let people not get it?
Here's a fun protip from the future.
They will get it in your winning season....but likely not a moment sooner.
It will take your own permission to proceed.
Grant your God and Goddess energy permission to play and preach.
Let your heart wander into the wild unknown.
Let your intuition guide your inquisitive mind.
Let your tears water the seeds of dreams sewn.
Let your passion fuel your creative expression.
Let your faithful knowing light the darkness, as you navigate this planet in every direction.
For it is not by following North, West, East, or South that you will find your way.
Beware the distractions of instruction that will lead you astray.
Let your mind quiet and your guidance speak up as your take your next steps.
Because it is the journey inward that will be the most direct.
Your soul awaits your remembering.
It is in no rush.
Whatever years you have 'wasted'
Have been equally important to the Collective 'Us'
We need your leadership.
We need your light.
We need your power.
We need your might.
Let your God and Goddess come here through you on Earth.
We need you now.
We need your truth.
Align with your purpose and embody your trust.
Surrender to your call, surrender you must.
We need you here.
We need you now.
We need you all.
We need you fully.
My prayer for you,
That you may remember yourself.
That no one and nothing may lead you so far astray that you don't think you can come back.
That you prioritize quieting the noise so that you may hear the whispers of your heart.
That you may trust in the vulnerability of loving with your whole heart.
That you may have as much compassion for yourself as you do for others so that you may then be energized by your compassion for others.
That you may slow down enough to notice stars and blossoms and smells and sounds of this fascinating planet.
That you may offer your disbelief to God so he can pour blessings all over you and your life.
That you may surrender your fear and surrender to love.
For these things, I pray.
For your health, I pray.
For your faith, I pray.
For your peace, I pray.
Today and everyday, I pray.
Rejection is redirection.
This seriously took me a long time to learn to laugh about - that is no joke.
I had spent 3 decades taking shit personally and it has taken years to give that up.
I was always so hungry for other people's approval that I didn't know what it looked like to truly have my own.
I have learned the art of loving rejection by coming to understand that it is redirection.
You see, our ego has all these 'wants' in the physical world and our spirit wants the fulfillment of our purpose.
The manifestation of our purpose won't 'look' how we imagine it.
Our current minds cannot fathom how great the actualization of hearts unleashed will be.
We must trust and choose it.
We must believe before we see.
Trust that what you now call rejection is a spin and nudge in your next best direction.
Get to steppin'
How I get my To-Do List done with a squirrel brain:
Anyone ever go to start one project but instead get half of about 15 things done?
In case you have the same attention span as I do and a vision for your future that requires being productive, I want to share a strategy that works FOR ME!
(Note the for me part because we should try different things out to fit what suits our unique hearts and minds - for more on this, listen to ep 82 of my
Hearts Unleashed Podcast
How To Get AND STAY Productive)
Here is my most effective approach to my work:
I do best with 15-30 min increments of focused time and I am sure to take breaks in between. My breaks include a reward system. I have two main strategies here:
1) follow the flow of my 'squirrel' brain and bop from task to task that pops up in front of me. For instance, if I enter my email it may trigger three other tasks before ever making it past that email.
2) hyper focus on only one thing and VERY ACTIVELY set anything other thoughts or tasks that pop up to the side.
For myself, both approaches include listing -not exactly for satisfactions sake - but for tracking purposes. My future self is always grateful for my listing because things don't get left behind.
If I do either or both of these strategies in about four 30 min focused sessions, I will have gotten most of my work done for the whole day. I leave a lot less undone and usually am hella productive.
This is also how I can activate flow and inspiration. As an entrepreneur, we cannot always rely on being inspired. Being able to create energetic momentum is a valuable tool when it comes to tasks that scare us or seem daunting. I save those projects for the third or fourth focused session. Like the third or fourth quarter of a game. I 'leave it all on the court' and call it a day.
Some task masters, professionals, and gurus may have other approaches. Some might even advise against these processes but that is the point.
These work well for me and I hope even in trying them out that you toss what doesn't work and only keep what does.
Getting and staying productive is all about what works for you as an individual.
Work what works.
Yesterday, I spent my night going through each item I own and deciding if it brings me joy or not. From there, I decided whether to toss, donate or, keep everything.
It was truly a form of soul searching to decide if I really need all the physical evidence of the memories I have!
It was both heart wrenching and empowering to admit that something I am so fond of may have already completed its purpose in my life. It was a true test of my transformation to be able to thank an item for a "job well done" in my life and let it go.
Walk away lesson: #1 HOLY CRAP, I am a pack rat!!!!!!!!!
On a serious note, I am at 100% choice about my environment and life. In this mindset, there is little/no room to be a victim of my circumstances. I am the creator. I have the say so....and trust me, spirit was present with a hand on my shoulder. She was encouraging me the whole time. She kept reminding me of the woman I am becoming.
About a year after college, I tucked away a box and a bag full of Puma gear that I insisted I would make a quilt out of one day.
SIX YEARS later, I have not done a single thing to make that quilt or have it made for me. Cracking open that bag brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart. What a wonderful rush of flashback.
This was and is one of my all-time favorite Puma sweatshirts. It reminds me of college Abby who wore it with such ease, confidence, and pride.
This one is a keeper.
It brings me nothing but joy!
I am beyond grateful for the memories that I have, but I am realizing that they belong in my heart and mind and not in my closet or on bookshelves.
I'm so grateful for every experience in life.
Good or bad, it's been a blessing.
Good or bad, it's made me who exactly who I am.
I will always be grateful to be a Puma.
It's pretty interesting and ironic that the physical memory of that college campus is now facing it's own dissipation. It's something that belongs in our hearts and minds forever and it has made us all who we are. My hope is that the powers that be find a way to regenerate it's integrity as an institution so that it may create more Pumas and many many more memories.
I Am Too Proud to be a Puma and I will always be a proud woman!
I highly recommend the act of tidying.
It's truly an act of cleansing.
It is making room for all that is possible.
It creates clarity, energy, and assurance that there is more to life and there is no limits to what can be.
Guys, live the life you love by creating it and have a laugh while doing it.
Here are 12 different faces from 12 different days in 12 different months with 12 very different stories and life experiences.
12 months with no alcohol and marijuana has been THE BEST decision of my entire life.
There were some months that included no sex, caffeine, coffee, or sugar.
There were some months of this year that included no travel, no physical contact, and no visiting.
There some were months that felt more intense than others and some that I felt more free than ever.
Living life without these two particular intoxicants cleared pathways within me that have led to a life I had only ever dreamed of.
I have done things like tripled my business and team. My relationships with family, friends, and clientele are thriving. I have found the love of my life and am engaged. I have manifested abundance and hilarious joy in every area of life and the growth feels so organic.
I have also made some immeasurable strides in inner peace, acceptance, forgiveness, surrender, and devotion. I have healed and restored my relationship with myself, others, and my higher powers.
Somewhere in the middle of this, I was asked about the difference between abstinence and sobriety. "Don't you have to identify as an addict to identify as sober?"
The question made sense but I feel a particular way about choosing 'sobriety' over abstinence.
To abstain from substances is a great choice. To me, abstaining seems as though there is a time to go back to something, as if there is a deadline or time limit.
To choose when you partake responsibly works for some. To use certain substances as appropriate treatments is effective and natural in many ways.
I don't see anytime I will be going back and relating to myself as indefinitely sober is a way of being. It serves as an anchor for integrity, alignment, and faith in my life. Sober is a place to come from, not a thing to practice or master.
For me, I never thought I had a problem until my body told me so.
When I couldn't unfog my mind.
When my stomach always ached.
When my skin was always broken out.
When my focus faltered.
When my energy lagged.
When my motivation and communication suffered.
It took me about two years to really quit alcohol for good and I am so glad that I did. Quitting marijuana took one month of going overboard after I knew my body's demand. It took time because I really actually identified WITH these substances.
The Party Girl
The Anxious One
The Chill One
The Relatable One....
Letting go of these substances meant letting go of the versions of myself that I was familiar with and loved very much. Choosing to not be them meant finding out who I am without them.
To me, identifying as sober doesn't represent the severity of addiction.
It represents a clear mind.
Once I got off substances, I realized my real addiction: stress, anxiety, overwhelm, paranoia, overthinking, and worry.
Once the physical effects wore off, I saw how I was also mentally and emotionally intoxicated by my own catastrophozing, fantasizing, and dramatizing.
After 6 months sober, I set an intention for myself:
"Relax into the adventure of releasing addictions of the body and mind"
This meant surrendering completely to the path sobriety was taking me. I was going to find out who I am beyond who I had always been. I was willing to witness everything that being intoxicated and distracted successfully suppressed. I became willing to be with any discomfort with a clear mind and full heart.
This has expanded me beyond what words can describe.
I have never felt more clear.
I have never felt so committed.
I have never felt more sober.
I have never felt so in my purpose.
I have never felt more on purpose.
And I am very clear that those inhibitors no longer serve me. I realized they wouldn't get me to where I am going in life. I know that I need every bit of my mind, heart, body, and soul to serve at the capacity I plan to.
My body is not mine.
It is rental property to function in this realm.
It is a vessel for love, affinity, and abundance.
It is for smiles, hugs, kisses, and words of affirmation.
It is to deliver infinite intelligence in the least adulterated way.
It is to shine light on the path of transformation and enlightenment.
It is built to lead and love.
I will do the best I can for this body to do what this soul came here to do.
I will show up for that work as fully as I can.
If you know there is more to you than what you are up to now, you are not alone.
Listen to the whispers of your heart.
Practice courage in honoring what you hear.
You know you best.
You know what's best for you.
Own it, love it, live it.
I love you.
Spread the Love.
Spread the joy.
Spread it like buttttaaaaaa, babe.
You see, "todayyyyy is the day that Hallmark has made, let us rejoice and be glaaaadddd!"
Consider that your relationship to this holiday = your relationship to Love!
If you think of it that way what do you see?
What IS your relationship to love?
Finish the sentence, Love equals.....
What is it for you?
What isn't it?
What do you want and wish it to be??
You see, the Love you experience in your life begins and ends with your experience of Love. read it til it makes sense.
You are the one who controls how much Love gets to flow to and through you.
So let down your barriers.
Let Love in.
And spreeeeeead the Love!!!!!!
Happiest Valentine's Day, my love.
I am sending you all I got.
Open that heart of yours.
Visualization means nothing if you cannot harness the feeling of that visualization.
If you cannot sense it in your heart and being, you are sabotaging your efforts by visualizing something that actually triggers and disempowers you.
The feeling is the most important aspect.
When we visualize and our dream seems so big, scary, impossible, or far away that it activates negative feelings within us, we push it farther away with feelings of incompetence, envy, rejection, smallness, inferiority, isolation, and so much more.
The feeling is so important because the feeling also causes the stream of thoughts that matches it.
If you feel anxious, you'll have anxious thoughts about your visualization.
If you feel empowered and excited, you will have empowered and excited thoughts about your visualization.
The best way to shift this is see that big, hairy, scary goal and imagine 5 major milestones between you and that goal.
If you can envision being a millionaire, that might be too much to feel into right now.
You will have to be a thousandaire first.
Shit, you have to be a hundredaire before that.
Sheeeeit...you have to get out of debt first!
So feel yourself becoming richer by making a budget and sticking to it.
Feel yourself saving more than you spend.
Feel yourself paying bills on time.
And sooner than you can imagine, you will close the gap between you and your visualization.
And this works with anything you can imagine and see in your mind's eye.
Feel into it.
Lean into your dreams, one beautiful milestone and feeling at a time.
Stay tuned for the Money Mindset Series in Season 4 of the Hearts Unleashed Podcast launching Feb 28