I am personally too drained to come to you Live for a Wisdom Wednesday so we are gunna roll with some Written Wisdom Wednesday.
Let me know what my own insight opens up for you. Feel free to message me personally or share in the comments!
I have been going through some deep caverns of my heart lately.
Deeper than I have ever been.
Farther than I have ever gone.
A dear friend helped me come to a new realization today:
I date men who are unavailable for various reasons to avoid getting seriously hurt again.
I then torture myself with wishful thoughts about it working out with these men in situations that would require us (mostly me, cause this is all pretend and hypothetical of course) overcoming all these obstacles.
****Update since rereading this post:
For the curious mind, I feel the need to clarify my definition of unavailable:
- Geographically unavailable/long distance
- Highly focused on biz/projects at this phase of life
- Doesn't believe in marriage
- Doesn't want children
- Short ??♀️
- Conflicting priorities
- Life path is CLEARLY going in different directions
These have always been 'red flags' that I have ignored, justified, or overlooked in past relationships.
My Fear: of getting hurt ... feeds my Limiting Belief: that I am unlovable ...that causes me to Self Sabotage by: dating unavailable men ... to avoid my Fear: of getting hurt ......which causes me to: date unavailable men ➡️...which reinforces my Limiting Belief that: I am unlovable.
(Read to the bottom to do that exercise for yourself.)
I avoid feeling rejected and consequentially, it caps my availability to feel fully accepted.
In dating, I still panic with resistance, robbing myself of getting all the way through this fear fire.
It is something I am working on too.
I didn't come to this Wisdom Wednesday with all the Wisdom available from this breakthrough.
Instead, I brought the awareness.
I decided to display the work I do FOR MYSELF AND OTHERS.
I decided to display Emotional Intelligence in it's rawest form: feeling hung upside down in the space between knowing and not knowing.
For whatever reason, I'd like to wrap this up with my favorite scuba analogy: I stay at the surface in this area of life. I haven't relaxed into the experience of descent. Therefore, I never get to experience the vast beauty of the deep, blue ocean.
To take on today's exercise for yourself, complete this run on sentence ?
My Fear: ( ) ➡️ feeds my Limiting Belief: ( ) ➡️ that causes me to Self Sabotage by: ( ) ➡️ to avoid my Fear: ( ) ➡️ which causes me to: ( ) ➡️ which reinforces my Limiting Belief that: ( )
Also, if you are sitting there having one epiphany after another like "holy shit, Abby, you're fucking BRILLIANT!"
I know and you should hire me at abigailgazda.com
Here's a picture of me in Cabo relaxing into the experience.