I have missed coming into this community DAILY like I did for nearly two years to pour my heart out in Gratitude.
I have been making SO MANY shifts in my life, wellbeing, relationships, and business that being in here daily doesn't serve the greater good.
...selfishly, I miss that. As a CEO of a full service transformation company, I don't.
2019 has been the most INTERESTING year to me because instead of 'knowing it all' or thinking I can learn it all; I have developed a true and GENUINE curiosity.
I have grown so comfortable with not knowing shit. I have no need to know everything.
I have been happier letting go of my need to know anything.
This has truly caused a shift that I NEVER expected, which is to identify as my energetic self...
Without my physicality.
Without my personality.
Without my nationality.
Without my biology.
I don't fully identify with Abby or Abigail anymore.
There is a calmer, softer, slower, gentler, more tender, connected woman rising.
She feels fully.
She loves wholly.
She is satisfied naturally.
She breathes and listens deeper than ever before.
She kind of floats around as opposed to 'getting somewhere.'
She *who has not fully revealed herself* is making her presence known and yet, I haven't seen the whole of her.
I have been afraid to be her because she doesn't seem as entertaining as many of my past selves.
I have been afraid to be her because she has nothing to prove to anyone and I have always feared that would come off as bitchy.
I have been afraid to be her for fear of losing your interest and feeling forgotten (which is one of my deepest fears).
I HAVE BEEN afraid to be her and now, I am not.
This new, still nameless, version of me has been rising rapidly and it feels way more natural to just let go and become her. It is also, WAY more work to deny or dilute her.
She speaks clearly and loudly and I have been simply honoring what she has been saying.
It has certainly been working in our favor.
I don't know where she's leading us and I know that I don't need to. I can feel it is so beautiful wherever we are headed.
I have had a hard time sharing this truth for fear that this community....you, my tribe, my peeps, my family, my friends, will start to think...
"OOOOOKAAYYYYYY, ABBY.....now you've really lost it." And just find someone else to tune into but that isn't why I started this group.
I started it TO grow. TO share. TO evolve.
AND TO do it in a very safe, welcoming space to think out loud and bask in all your Gratitude for the unfolding of YOUR life!
I am grateful to Abby, Abigail, Abs, and the hundred other identities I know I wear in this world. I take them on and off at my leisure.
I am grateful I have shown up in all my forms to share in an unabashed, unapologetic type of way because I am having such a blast doing it!
I'll answer to all my names but you'd be better off asking which woman you are talking to next time you see me because I will NEVER be the same as the last time you saw me.
As for now, I miss being in here every single day, but please excuse me while another ego dies and a more unleashed version of infinite energy shows up.
I will always come back a more fully expressed version of unconditional love.❤