Permission To Shine
I have been getting a lot of guidance lately that has been asking me to shed.
"No more sex"
"No more alcohol"
"No more marijuana"
"No more coffee"
"No more masturbation"
When I say guidance, I am talking inner guidance.
When I hear something, it is with my inner ear.
When I sense direction, it's as if there is a magnetic pull on my heart or mind.
Sometimes when I receive this guidance, my ego....this Abigail personality...complains back like a toddler to a parent who's been denied a candy bar in the checkout aisle.
I admitted to my coach, Tim Demme, that I am afraid my inner being and God are directing me straight to the nunnery!
This Abigail personality has the gripe 'ugh!
No fun! No play! No pleasure! What is this?!'
Sometimes this inner guidance doesn't make sense to me.
What's different than ever before is that I am actually following the guidance eeeeeven if I have some initial resistance.
Before, I ignored my intuition and it had cost me in ways I had never realized.
In my teens and early twenties, I don't even think I understood the true sense intuition.
I used to ignore the tugs and urges and I found myself out of whack, frustrated, disappointed, and confused.
I wouldn't follow 'weird' guidance that didn't make sense cause I thought my idea of fun and fulfillment were the best I could create. I never considered reaching dreams that I never imagined...cause well, I couldn't imagine it.
Not trusting kept me capped in so many areas of life and only upon honoring what I am hearing am I reaping the rewards.
When I hear a new directive that I am initially resistant to, I recall challenging times in my life that didn't make sense (at the time).
I recall times of deep heartache when I would lament on my knees in pain.
I remember months and years of financial hardship when I stopped even looking up to a Higher Power and only looked to myself.
I remember bouts of loneliness that I cried and begged God to make sense of this life.
So when I now hear 'no more sugar' and look up at the sky shaking my fists, I recall much tougher challenges that have led me to the most abundant life that I never planned for.
In retrospect...always in retrospect...things make much more sense as to how they are a milestone, a puzzle piece, in the whole scope and sequence of life.
Following my guidance has opened doors that I could have never opened alone.
It has led me to people that act as Earth Angels easing my fear along the path.
Listening and honoring what I hear has made this life laughably wonderful and promising.
So now, when I hear guidance these days and wonder about it, I actually check into the reality that following my intuition and guidance have created:
I live in SoCal surfing, writing, coaching, touring, living, and loving.
I am the highest paid, healthiest, and happiest I have ever been.
I am the most in my purpose and don't have to pretend anything anymore.
I don't force things and stay in flow.
I don't lie, cheat, or steal to get what I want.
I wake up excited about what each day brings and I have a lot of faith in what's on it's way.
I have great relationships and the people in my life are thriving as well.
I consistently have true, authentic conversations and give and receive love.
I share, care, give, and receive in ways that feel genuine and fulfilling.
I walk with people in the same journey of transformation and witness them come to life.
So when God whispers the next step into my heart, I listen in.
I never really understood the concept of God's Will, but i think it is starting to make some sense to me.
What I have come to understand is that we must die a thousand deaths to shine as our most divine being.
I understand that we get the gift of delivering love to this planet.
I get that we cannot be our fullest expression of love when the pride, concern, or insecurity of our personality/identity gets in the way.
To me, what's beautiful about this is that we don't have to disappear completely and become no one's.
We get to unbecome anything we are not in order to become OUR fullest expression of love.
I get to package love in my Abigail form of enthusiasm, play, joy, warmth, sweetness, and a genuine sense of innocence and compassion.
I am giggling now just thinking about it.
You are your own unique expression of love and you have a brilliant unique skill set to manifest love in this world.
It is absolutely essential that you allow yourself to shine.
I recorded you a HUP episode to convince you even more:
I love you so so much.
It's your turn to live Unleashed.
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