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​Live Out Loud.

Sober Gratitude

4/14/2020

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​So I can't remember the last time I did a 'progress pic' for ANYTHING, but toot-freakin-toot mafa's. ⁣
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I am 60 days sober off alcohol and cannabis and I have never felt...better? ⁣
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Eh, I wouldn't actually say better.
I have never felt clearer.⁣
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I chose full sobriety as I entered into a 10 day silent Vipassana retreat. It took three days of migraine level withdrawls to fully detox. ⁣
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I spent the other seven days of that retreat meeting my sober mind, heart, and body. It was a fascinating experience to say the least. ⁣
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What I did not realize on Feb 13 was what was to come in all of our very near future, this pandemic. ⁣
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So when I say I've never felt clearer I mean that over the last 60 days I have been facing things that I used to smoke or drink my way through. ⁣
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I am experiencing my anxiety fully.
I am crying my deepest soul level sadness to the surface.
I am remaining present for my red hot rage that I used to numb out or drown out. ⁣
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So 'better' may not be my best evaluation, but knowing I am operating at my best feels better. ⁣
I am meeting my highest and best self because I am not weighing her down or blurring her vision. ⁣
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I am not clouding her mind and impairing her judgement. ⁣
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I am here.⁣
I am clear. ⁣
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I am very clear about what I came to this planet to do and that is to unleash hearts. ⁣
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That means starting with my own. ⁣
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So while 60 days of sobriety is just the beginning, I think we can all agree that the last 60 days has felt like 60 years. ⁣
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In the last 60 days I have written a book that could not have come through my fingers under the influence. ⁣
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It comes out on May 1 and when you get it, you will understand exactly why. ⁣
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We can't hear our divine guidance with clogged ears and foggy minds. ⁣
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I want to thank my support structures that have been cheering me on and holding me up in my low moments. ⁣
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This hasn't exactly felt good.⁣
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But it sure does feel great to feel in tune with everything happening in my heart, mind, body, and soul ⁣
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If you've wondered about sobriety; just give it a try. ⁣
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Put the bottle down.⁣
Put the pipe down.⁣
Toss it out.⁣
Flush it. ⁣
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Then let your body flush it.⁣
You can do it and you are not alone. ⁣
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Love you. ⁣
It's time you live a life you love.
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