I could hardly contain my smile for today's four month sober picture.
I forgot today was the day until I got a reminder on my phone to snap a progress pic. I saw a man who took progress pictures for three years and I was so amazed by his transformation that I promised myself to do the same.
It is seriously part of the motivation and celebration process that makes it very real for me and keeps my decision to live clean an empowered choice.
I did not know when I decided to completely give up alcohol and cannabis on Feb 13 that we would be entering the craziest times of any of our lives.
In the first few weeks I thought:
"Whew! Experiencing anxiety sober is a whole 'nother level!"
"Whew! Writing a book/doing creative work sober is soooo different!"
"Whew! I can feel all my feelings and it is so intense!"
Then when the Pandemic hit, my empathic self felt more feelings than I ever had and my sober self was turned allllll the way up! I was feeling so much and it was wiping me out!
It took two solid months to 'learn how to be sober' because I had previously hovered above the real bottoms of my emotional pits.
Many may think that substances take us to our pits but they don't. They prevent us from getting there. They numb us out while we get really close but we never have to actually experience them while under the influence.
Abby under the influence:
Had a lot of fears and insecurities
Cared a lot about what people thought of her
Only understood hard work
Was concerned about her future
Was hung up on her past
Was focused on someone else's definition of success
Had a dysfunctional relationship with God
Didn't trust life to work out
Abby under the influence was confused about a few things. She was doing so much work and some integral pieces of her puzzle were missing. She had done so much transformation and there were a few things that still weren't clear.
It wasn't that she wasn't smart, successful, effective, or loving. It was that her mind and heart were too foggy to see fully. The missing puzzle pieces came into clear sight after a few months of sobriety.
I could see they were there on the table to my left or right. I began putting the missing pieces in place.
My third month of being clean was the most lucrative month of my business and my entire life. I have far out earned any career I have ever had.
I am writing my third and fourth books and will be publishing multiple books this year.
My book Talking to the Trees hit Bestseller #1 New Release in May.
The Hearts Unleashed Podcast is averaging 1,000 downloads a month.
I am working with phenomenal clients and even brought our first support coach onto the Hearts Unleashed team.
I have recreated my relationship with God and I know that I am cared for, guided, loved, and provided for at all times.
What I have come to appreciate about sobriety is how clear I am for divinity to flow to and through me. My inner ear and eye are wide open to recieve guidance and my mind and heart are clear enough to trust what I see and hear.
I could hardly contain my smile in my month four sober photo because I am the happiest, healthiest, and wealthiest I have ever been and I know that it is because I have been willing to surrender my ideas in exchange for my guidance.
And I have not been led astray!
The opposite, 'blindly' following my intuition has led to a stream of endless abundance and all I do is go to bed and wake up repeating 'thank you thank you thank you' dozens of times.
I am so grateful to be clean and I am currently detoxing from coffee this weekend! I could hear my body making the request and I am honoring it. She has not made a request that has steered me wrong yet and following the nudges has been rewarding every time.
HARD TRUTH: worth it doesn't always mean easy. It takes a commitment to unbecoming everything you've ever learned in order to become the highest and best version of yourself.
Total side note: that is why I keep showing up for this current race conversation so boldly. I know how much unbecoming is required to become that which we dream of.
Does not fear what people think of her
Isn't out to prove anything
Gets to love freely
Gets to shine brightly
Gets to laugh loudly
Gets to write vigorously
Loves to show up boldly
Accepts her worth completely
Loves others unconditionally
Serves from a full heart
Is clear about her purpose
Is focused on her impact
Loves the work she does
I am so happy, blessed, and grateful to be alive. I am fascinated with the miracle of life and I want to personally invite you to slow down more often to listen to your heart beat.
Your heart beats every second of everyday without any of your conscious effort.
Your lungs breathe and your body is functioning enough to be reading these words right now.
You have a phone with internet and an app that connects the whole world.
We are so blessed.
We are so gifted.
We are so each other.
May you heart beat.
May your lungs breathe.
May you mind think.
May your voice speak.
I personally appreciate getting to do it all sober because everything feels elevated and intricate.
May you gift yourself the joys of even a few days off substances. Maybe a detox. Maybe a reset. Maybe a cutback. Maybe not.
Start where you are to get where you're going. Just keep in mind, not all of you gets to head into the future you dream of.
I love you.
I am here for you.
I am here for us.