The number one mistake people make about transformation:
They start with a destination in mind. You know the destination:
The career, the car, the house, the relationship. It’s not always materialistic goals though.
Some people set out for the health, the financial status, the stability, the adventure, the freedom.
Many strive for the clarity, purpose, drive, focus, and unstoppability.
Some realize its more than that, so they imagine getting to the peace of mind, the bliss, joy, elation, the confidence, and more.
People, you, may work through your healing and transformation journey with the end in mind and chase after this place where you finally feel like you can rest and relax. You know the place…
The Healed Place.
Problem is, after a few months or years, people, you, start to realize that no matter how much work there is to do...there is more work to do.
Just when you feel like you might have finally solved the last thing wrong with you, your family, your career, your finances, your health, and the world, something else presents itself.
After enough things surface enough times, you start to question this whole transformation thing and wonder if it is all one big ripoff, yeah? Ever arrived to that point where you ask yourself if you’re just a delusional fool to think that you could arrive to that perfectly blissful point where all is settled, everything works out, everyone behaves as they should, all your needs or met, and there is world peace?
Well, you are a delusional fool.
But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
From another angle, you are a dreamer, a romantic, an optimist, a leader.
From another angle, you are a visionary who believes in a beautiful world and all of its glorious possibilities.
What I would like to help you with today is better understanding the mistake you make and the way it affects you.
Expecting perfection on your terms is a set up for disappointment.
Expecting to never face adversity or discomfort or letdowns or hard truths or curve balls in life is a sure way to be blindsided by the natural unfolding of the universe. Because I am not sure if anyone has told you but the universe doesn’t revolve around your perceived problems or desires. Shocker, I know.
People die, relationships end, food spoils, you go broke, we lose jobs, civilizations crumble, failure is imminent. It is all a part of the ying and yang of life. Death and destruction are an integral part of life and rebirth.
So by fooling yourself that you will arrive at some happily ever after healed place in your life where there is never any more work to do, you are fooling yourself.
You came to this incarnation for the exhilaration of the experience. You came here to taste, touch, see, smell, hear, and feel the world and all of its features. Sometimes those sensory experiences include fear, anger, sadness, curiosity, confusion, and more.
I am not saying it has to or should be that way all of the time. Not at all.
In fact, I offer to my clients that a great measurement for living a transformed life is to measure it in a percentage. For myself, I hope to live 95% elevated, transformed, empowered, inspired, and blissful. However, I take into account that there will be 5% of the time that I am feeling the lower order emotions that I am experiencing discomfort, concern, questioning, discomfort, and more.
I know way too many people who get really upset when they find out that something new has surfaced for them to process. Or they fall apart while they are trying to maintain a house of card built on a shaky foundation. Better yet, they spiral into existential crisis when an old would shows up freshly reopened and declares, “I HEALED THIS ALREADY!” assuming that it should be gone for good.
Well my friends, I am here to offer you that your real suffering comes from the expectation of perfection. It is your negative reaction to the 5% that amplifies it and turns it into 10, 20, or 30% of your time living frustrated, upset, and second guessing everything.
I want to invite you to surrender the illusion of The Healed Place and just be where you are: in a human body with a thinking brain and a feeling heart.
You will have senses. You will have emotions. You will have reactions and they won’t all be Buddha level enlightened.
You will see old patterns replay, you will have unattended grief emerge, you will get pissed off, triggered, and offended from time to time. That doesn’t mean that you cannot live a 95% joyful life. It also doesn’t mean that the 5% of hard times or challenges have to knock you so far off center that you cannot bounce back within minutes or hours.
My offer to you as we move into this new month, new quarter, and new season is to let the pressure of perfection melt away with the snow.
Breathe in deeply, expand your chest, pull your shoulders back, and lift your chin up to sit upright into the life that you have come here for, filled with adventures, challenges, opportunities, and blessings, in whatever form they manifest.
You will never be perfectly healed because you are perfectly human.
And that is perfect.
Surrender to the 5% and let life give you experiences that will grow you. Surrender your idea of perfection. Surrender your smallness in thinking that if it doesn’t go your way that it isn’t working out better than you could have dreamt up. Surrender that you could know the whole picture and let life surprise and delight you.
Happy April, my loves.
Happy Spring Equinox.
Happy Astrological New Year.
Ever single moment, every single breath is a chance to start again at having 100% a full and wonderful life.