It took me 2.5 years to grow all of the hair dye out of my hair.

I remember having a love/hate relationship with being super blonde.

-It was so much maintenance.
-It looked greasy often.
-People didn't take me as seriously (seriously)
-ROOTS!
-I did feel sexy.
-It got good attention.
-I felt cute, relatable, and approachable.

Before, I had this (very subtle) belief that I needed the blonde hair TO BE cute, relatable, sexy, and approachable.

Now, with my natural hair grown out I feel all those things and more.

But I discovered something I hadn't realized before getting all the way back to these bronze locks; I was going for natural and I arrived at whole and complete.

I am not my blonde hair.
I am not my hair at all.
I am not my looks.
I am not my smarts.
I am not my achievements.
I am not my company.
I am not my title.
None of that.

I am an energetic being having a human experience and this soul is boundless.

This soul doesn't have a name, face, or hair to dye.

This soul doesn't have a career, mission, or message.

This soul is pure light shining bright.

Just like the sun.
No mission.
No message.
No purpose.
No measurement.
Just light.
Just shine, my friend.

You don't need to be, do, or have anything.
​
Just shine.

A handful of you know this amazing man and many of you don't...at least not yet.

A handful of you know our fun story and many of you don't...at least not yet.

A handful of you have reached out to ask or celebrate and congratulate and it has been so appreciated.

I have been wrapping up my next book, Alchemizing Judgment, and simply didn't have the brain juice left to write the full, heartfelt Gratitude post like I knew I wanted to.

The book is complete and here I am on a night of total awe and appreciation for this man.

I met Tim back in 2016 through a mutual coaching network and we stayed connected over the years.

We worked together in many ways and we have supported each other in many endeavors.

Although it took me two years to get him on the Hearts Unleashed Podcast, I was thrilled to share his brilliance with my audience and now I am excited to share him with you in more detail.

Once coach and client, Timothy helped me work on healing and transforming my life, business, and spirituality.

He helped release my past, write two books in one year, quadruple my business, and recreate my relationship with God. (I sure am glad I dedicated Talking to the Trees to him before we started a relationship otherwise it might look like nepotism now )

One of my favorite things to joke about is that I told him everything I wanted in a man before I recognized him as that man.

I told him everything I wanted out of life before he offered to join me in life.

I was unabashed in my coaching with Timothy.
I was raw and open and never held back in the work.
I was the most me ever and he helped me discover next level versions of myself I was too hesitant to share.

This consistently proved to be beneficial and when our relationship shifted after an in person retreat, I understood that he knew who and what he was choosing by choosing a relationship with me.

We align in so many ways.
We communicate effectively and lovingly.
We have fun.
We have direction...
We have very similar direction.
We honor our guidance.
We honor each other.
We honor God.
And he's weird like me. 

I WISH I could compile the most robust expression of gratitude for how it feels to be his partner. I wish I could. It might take another book...

I am grateful he knew what he was choosing not because I 'feel so lucky' to finally be chosen by a man.

I am so grateful to myself for allowing my full self to live unleashed.

I am grateful for the day I became willing to admit how ready I was for love again.

I am grateful to him for guiding me through that work.

I am grateful for how big I experience his being.

I am grateful for the divine intervention of that retreat.

There may be ethical thoughts, questions, or concerns about how two might shift from coach/client to couple.

That answer is simple: ethically.

That retreat showed me the man that Tim is, not the coach.

Similar to the day we realize our parents are just other people in the world figuring out life too, I saw the human Tim.

I saw his heart bigger than I ever saw it.
I saw his light shine right out of his big brown eyes and huge smile. 

My heart shifted from looking to him to transform my life to becoming a part of it instead.

As quickly as a camera lens adjusts its focus, I could see my counterpart in plain view. 

It took me another week to confess my love and let me tell you; my honesty worked out in my favor.

I am grateful I was so honest with myself so that I can be so honest with him, and he with me.

I am grateful for the paths life has taken us down and that they intersect here.

I am grateful I made my inner work a priority as to have a heart ready for so much love, abundance, and joy.

I am grateful for my own commitment to authenticity that has empowered me to align with such an amazing human.

I am grateful for who Tim is in every facet of his being.
​
I am just so purely grateful.

 ​My upcoming book Alchemizing Judgment: A Guide Back to Love comes out on Thanksgiving Day 2020.

The dead dead DEADLINE for the first draft is this Friday, August 28th.

I have been channeling twice as much detail and material than I thought and this book feels like birthing a 10lbs baby!

I am grateful for the frequency and guidance of the palms, ocean, and moon that pushes and pulls energy to and through me to write this work of heart.

I am grateful to sit in the back seat of my Jeep with my feet propped up on the middle console absorbing the ocean energy being released by the crashing waves.

It fills up my soul through my soles as words pour out of my fingertips onto the keyboard.

I am so grateful to speak the language of the Earth and feel empowered to communicate her messages.

If you would like to hear more about what Mother Nature has to say and you just can't wait to get Alchemizing Judgment, grab a copy of my ebook Talking to the Trees on Amazon today.

Only get it if you are ready to head on a wild adventure!

I have been THRILLED to hear how impactful it is for my readers.

It will take you on a mental and emotional roadtrip with the main character, Madeline.

http://www.abigailgazda.com/books.html

We just wrapped up our first ever Talking to the Trees HUBC tonight and the next one launches on September 1 @ 5pm pst if you are interested in joining a sisterhood of spiritual support.

http://www.abigailgazda.com/store/p34/September_1_Hearts_Unleashed_Book_Club_with_Abigail_Gazda_Talking_to_the_Trees.html

As for now, I will get back to wrapping up this next book baby and get ready to hand her over to Valerie Irvine for edit!

Get ready and stay grateful, my friends.
​
This one's gunna be a goodie!

I had no idea life could be this good.

I always thought you had to compromise.

I was always taught, told, and shown that it must be a hard struggle to feel good and be happy.

Now, granted I have had to see, hold, and trust the vision for my life to be able to have it. I didn't always believe or know it would turn out the way it has.
​
I had different goals 5 years ago and when it all fell apart, it didn't make sense.

When I hit the reset button and began unraveling a life of false sense of success, I discovered a truer me.

I began being truer to myself.
I began trusting myself.
I began trusting my higher power.
I began trusting in the good.

I began trusting that I am cared for, provided for, and loved and it was then and only then did I truly open the flood gates of blessings to rain on down.

And they sure are.

I just got out of Yosemite National Park from a backpacking trip and made my way to Bend Oregon to celebrate all the August birthdays in my family.

I am writing my third book that is constantly blowing my mind and bringing me so much joy!

It is so good and so is everything Hearts Unleashed has coming down the pipe this fall!

I can take time off to enjoy my people and build new relationships while maintaining a thriving business that has a beautiful impact on the world.

I get to enjoy life and nature without living for the weekend or a vacation.

I knew this life was possible but as short as 5 years ago, I wasn't dreaming this for myself.

I thought it was for the movies or exclusive to the filthy rich.

I just got done (paper) journaling some Gratitude and thanking God for helping me clear my doubt, unlovablity, and undeservedness that was preventing me from creating this life.

It is so possible and available.
Life can be this good.
Life can be this great.
Life IS great!

My Gratitude is growing with me and my life is growing in leaps and bounds.

Praise sweet baby Jesus for the head and heart work.

It shall set anyone free to live a life they love.

You are free to choose a life you love.
​
Here are a few pix from the weekend's adventures

You have spent PLENTY of your life super concerned about what others think of you. ⁣
⁣
You have also spent a lot of head and heart space wondering what other people think of what you are up to. ⁣
⁣
You have been hyper focused on gaining the approval and validation of others. ⁣
⁣
While this isn't bad or wrong, it is certainly slowing down your progress.⁣
⁣
You may notice how you're *trying* to be focused on the future, but then being distracted by current circumstances. ⁣
⁣
Trying to ensure everyone else's happiness or satisfaction will eventually give you ulcers (or much worse) if you continue down a path of losing sleep over the opinions of others. ⁣
⁣
If you want YOUR best life, you are going to have to take it back.⁣
⁣
It will take facing what you have previously avoided. ⁣
⁣
It will require you taking a stand for yours and the greatness of everyone.⁣
⁣
It will take understanding that others opinions are about them and what they are dealing with.⁣
⁣
Those opinions truly are not about you or what you're up to.⁣
⁣
You can set yourself free from that weight and guilt.⁣
⁣
But it will take compassion for anyone dealing with deeply rooted anger, hate, and resentment.
⁣
It's gunna take giving up your ego's desire to be liked and loved by people you don't really care to be liked and loved by!⁣
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》This has been one of my own biggest challenges and breakthroughs because what it truly took was liking and loving myself {no matter what} to realize that no thing or no one can impact my self love.《⁣
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It will take you liking and loving yo hot damn self!!!! ⁣
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When you get clear about that, you will get just HOW brilliant, bold, beautiful, courageous, kind and loving you are.⁣
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You will finally allow it to be on full display. ⁣
⁣
This makes a difference. ⁣
⁣
YOU make a difference. ⁣
⁣
Be Bold. ⁣
⁣
Be the difference.

I am currently pouring out everything I have ever learned into my upcoming book, Alchemizing Judgment: A Guide Back to Love.

It is written to teach anyone how to win the game of life by using their personal power and inner authority.

It is dedicated to anyone ready and willing to live an absolutely beautiful life.

It is being put together word by word, page by page, and breakthrough by breakthrough.

It is the longest book I have ever written.
It is hefty.
It is thorough.
It is textbook worthy.

I have gone through some specific shifts that have guided me to write this book next and I have surrendered to being a channel for it's manifestation.

As with all of my books, this is a birthing process.

I have been dedicating my entire being to alchemizing energy into word form as to deliver a book that will guide humans back to the core of everything: love.

My online presence has been quiet because I am in my ninth month of this pregnancy. This book is in the birth canal and I am pushing until August 5, until my midwife and editor
Valerie Irvine
will take great care of her.

We and
Jeanne Bender
of Pina Publishing are preparing for her public arrival on Thanksgiving Day this year and have a lot of creativity to transmute between now and then.

For now, I want to share my overflowing joy and gratitude for this gift.
To be a writer.
To be so divinely led.
To be so held and supported.
To be in such allowance and flow as to receive so fully.

The blessings are raining down all over life and I couldn't be more grateful in these moments.

May these words fill you up with the breath of life, gratitude, and joy.

May they awaken your spirit and lift the corners of your lips.

May they touch your heart and inspire you to unleash it.
​
Live a life you absolutely love.

Originally written Jan 7, 2020:

This year's word TRANSCEND came to me and it made perfect sense.

It means to be or go beyond the range or limits of (something abstract, typically a conceptual field or division).

I can see how TRANSCENDING in 2020 is a natural evolution of both my material and spiritual journey.

Something that I am so excited about and committed to in 2020 is to TRANSCEND manipulations of the truth.

When I say truth, I am talking about what you know within you; your self, that soft voice you hear when it matters most, your authentic superpower, your intuition, your inner knowing, and your inner guidance.

Manipulations of the truth in our world look like controlling, governing, judging, scrutinizing, discriminating, shaming, blaming, possessing, and more.

It is the illusion of darkness due to an absence of light.

Manifestations of these manipulations look like gossip, numbing out, self-harming, withholding/hiding out, stressing, isolating, betrayal, scandal, lying, thieving, spending wildly and more.

Darkness looms at these low vibrational levels and you can exit them by no longer entertaining them in your energy field.

You honestly need nothing more than your inner guidance system to get anywhere you're going in life and the external factors in your world will convince you otherwise quickly and efficiently…

I intend to TRANSCEND darkness and manipulations of the truth by returning to love fast and frequently.

Pro Tip: Being able to do so will help you TRANSCEND any and all perceived ‘problems.’

Potentially unpopular opinion: the problems of the world are all perceived and relative.

I do not say this to sound insensitive and I understand that it may trigger someone wrapped up in their circumstances. However, transcending lower vibrational energies will have you transcending problems with ease, grace, and flow.

Even Einstein warned, “you cannot solve a problem from the same state in which it was created.”

You must transcend your state of being in order to transform anything about your life or this world.

Truly accepting that you are the creator of your reality, you can choose what you let in and out of your life.

This will give you your power back in such a way that the delusions of darkness, opinions, actions, and reactions will not affect you the way they had in the past.

They will no longer stop you in your passions and visions of your best life.

You will be able to sense yourself becoming unphased, unapologetic, and unabashed in your nature.

This grants you the freedom to create from an organic place.

As naturally as the tree grows from within, so will you.
You will grow to fill the space you occupy.

I have known it for so many years and finally feel certain that love conquers all.

I have never been more faithful in my own belief systems than now.

I have never been so passionate about hearts being unleashed.

I have never felt so connected to a God-consciousness and without my need to justify or explain it.

I understand that I am not to do anything.
I am to simply be it.

To be still and know that I am God…
And you are God…
And nature is God…
And God is God…
And do not fear chasing people away with that 3 letter word because to me, God is love…
And I am love…
And so are you…

Working together harmoniously as part of the entire scope and sequence of humanity.

The moment we tell people “how to God” we lose the concept all together.

When we tell people “how to love” we lose the concept all together.

Because God is not something you do.
It is something you be.

Because Love is not something you do.
It is something you be.

In alignment with my word, I intend to TRANSCEND old constructs, patterns, fears, and delusions of reality and the past.

I intend to TRANSCEND manipulations of the truth so that I may assist with the ushering in a future of love, light, joy, bliss, innocence, connectedness, abundance, and prosperity.

I intend to have a lot of fun doing it too.

When you consider your intention word of 2020, I invite you to consider what future you're ushering in as opposed to what past you are resolving.

I will always invite you to live a life you love.

JULY UPDATE: WHAT WAS YOUR 2020 WORD and how's it working out for you!?!
Read the whole blog including my spiritual journey that has unfolded at http://www.abigailgazda.com/blog/transcending-in-2020

​I have been getting a lot of guidance lately that has been asking me to shed.

"No more sex"
"No more alcohol"
"No more marijuana"
"No more coffee"
"No more masturbation"
Like what!?!

When I say guidance, I am talking inner guidance.
When I hear something, it is with my inner ear.
When I sense direction, it's as if there is a magnetic pull on my heart or mind.

Sometimes when I receive this guidance, my ego....this Abigail personality...complains back like a toddler to a parent who's been denied a candy bar in the checkout aisle.

"WHYYYYY!?!"

I admitted to my coach, Tim Demme, that I am afraid my inner being and God are directing me straight to the nunnery!

This Abigail personality has the gripe 'ugh!
No fun! No play! No pleasure! What is this?!'

Sometimes this inner guidance doesn't make sense to me.

What's different than ever before is that I am actually following the guidance eeeeeven if I have some initial resistance.

Before, I ignored my intuition and it had cost me in ways I had never realized.

In my teens and early twenties, I don't even think I understood the true sense intuition.

I used to ignore the tugs and urges and I found myself out of whack, frustrated, disappointed, and confused.

I wouldn't follow 'weird' guidance that didn't make sense cause I thought my idea of fun and fulfillment were the best I could create. I never considered reaching dreams that I never imagined...cause well, I couldn't imagine it.

Not trusting kept me capped in so many areas of life and only upon honoring what I am hearing am I reaping the rewards.

When I hear a new directive that I am initially resistant to, I recall challenging times in my life that didn't make sense (at the time).
​
I recall times of deep heartache when I would lament on my knees in pain.

I remember months and years of financial hardship when I stopped even looking up to a Higher Power and only looked to myself.

I remember bouts of loneliness that I cried and begged God to make sense of this life.

So when I now hear 'no more sugar' and look up at the sky shaking my fists, I recall much tougher challenges that have led me to the most abundant life that I never planned for.

In retrospect...always in retrospect...things make much more sense as to how they are a milestone, a puzzle piece, in the whole scope and sequence of life.

Following my guidance has opened doors that I could have never opened alone.

It has led me to people that act as Earth Angels easing my fear along the path.

Listening and honoring what I hear has made this life laughably wonderful and promising.

So now, when I hear guidance these days and wonder about it, I actually check into the reality that following my intuition and guidance have created:

I live in SoCal surfing, writing, coaching, touring, living, and loving.
I am the highest paid, healthiest, and happiest I have ever been.
I am the most in my purpose and don't have to pretend anything anymore.
I don't force things and stay in flow.
I don't lie, cheat, or steal to get what I want.
I wake up excited about what each day brings and I have a lot of faith in what's on it's way.
I have great relationships and the people in my life are thriving as well.
I consistently have true, authentic conversations and give and receive love.
I share, care, give, and receive in ways that feel genuine and fulfilling.
I walk with people in the same journey of transformation and witness them come to life.

So when God whispers the next step into my heart, I listen in.

I never really understood the concept of God's Will, but i think it is starting to make some sense to me.

What I have come to understand is that we must die a thousand deaths to shine as our most divine being.

I understand that we get the gift of delivering love to this planet.

I get that we cannot be our fullest expression of love when the pride, concern, or insecurity of our personality/identity gets in the way.

To me, what's beautiful about this is that we don't have to disappear completely and become no one's.

We get to unbecome anything we are not in order to become OUR fullest expression of love.

I get to package love in my Abigail form of enthusiasm, play, joy, warmth, sweetness, and a genuine sense of innocence and compassion.

I am giggling now just thinking about it.

You are your own unique expression of love and you have a brilliant unique skill set to manifest love in this world.

It is absolutely essential that you allow yourself to shine.

I recorded you a HUP episode to convince you even more:
​
http://www.heartsunleashed.com/blog/159-why-it-is-so-important-for-you-to-shine
​
I love you so so much.
It's your turn to live Unleashed.

I have been investing with Stash for almost two years now and absolutely love the simplicity of it.

My money is growing on its own while I work on my business growth and development.

I learned the massive benefits of starting early and the difference between working hard and working smart.

In the first half of your life, you work for your money.
In the second half of your life, Your money works for you.

If you have any questions about what it is like to get started investing, message me.

Use my affiliate link to start your Stash account and start stashing TODAY!  

Y'all, for those of you curious, I STILL have an inner critic that tells me to get back to work.

She criticizes me for taking time away from calls, meetings, sessions, and social media.

When I take vacation, I can hear a running list of things I am falling behind on.

I have had this voice berating me for as long as I can remember.

As a youngster, is was about school and sports.

In college, on top of school and sports, it was about preparing to be a teacher.

As a teacher, it was endless berating about the endless to do lists.

As a consultant, it was about clients, orders, deliveries, and more.

As a manager, it was about a wedding, corporate career, and finances.

As a budding entrepreneur, it was about making sure I was building and not having to go back to 'work' for money.

As an author and podcaster, it was about not falling behind while also trying to build a biz AND make sales....

Are you catching onto the endlessness of it?
Ya feel me?
Have you got your own inner critic?

News flash: he/she's NOT going away!

That voice is simply ONE of the mechanisms of your brain that functions as automatically as the beating of your heart.

It is there and always will be.

The trick is, you don't have to engage with every thought, reaction, and judgement of your inner critic.

It's allowed to be there and it also doesn't have to run your life.

If you had a really negative or "worry-wart" kind of friend would you listen to their EVERY comment or concern? (I hope not)

This is ONE of the survival functions of the human condition and it is also the one that prevents you from touching fire and jumping off cliffs.

It's the survival functions of humanness that say we need money, food, safety, warmth, and shelter.

My inner critic wants me to work so we don't fall behind and end up broke, on the street, and begging for handouts.

The thing about that survival voice is she only knows the perspective of survival.

What she doesn't know well is how much the other parts of me know about adequate self care, rest, connection, restoration, and clarity.

Those are matters of the heart and I have to use my awareness to recognize and respect the difference between the head and the heart.

That inner critic? He/she's here for you.

When I am on vacation and my mind is telling me to work, I kindly let her know that we will when the time is right and it will be the right work.

I let her know that rest is right too and that enjoying life is as equally important as the work there is to be done.

The real work there is to do is be the captain of your ship,
the conductor of your orchestra, the author of your book.

You must transcend above the various parts of you that are in opposition of each other, take the lead, organize, and orchestrate their unified momentum.

You must recognize that there is a you who can identify the different parts of you.

Your soul.
Your soul gets to lead you through any and all challenges into triumph.

Trust that every part of you is for you and yet, they aren't meant to be the leader.

The soul of you is guiding you.
​
Let it.
Love it.
Enjoy it.
Live the life you love.